Blonde Jokes

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A Smart Blonde, Big Foot and Santa Claus Jump From A Building. Who reaches the ground first?
No one, none of them exists.

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A blonde, a drunк, a liar, and a loser walk into a bar to order a couple drinks...
The bartender says:
"There's my favorite customer! What will it be this time Ms. Clinton?"
Edit: Hahaha everyone's so butthurt. It's just a joke...

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A blonde, brunette, and a red head walk into a bar
Wow, these are great binoculars!

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My dog needed a checkup, so I Googled a place nearby. But when I got there, it was just this blonde white guy in army camo covered in swаsтiка tattoos.
Stupid Google found me a veteran аryаn.

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A blonde рrоsтiтuте calls the police to report that she'd been rареd...
"When did it happen?" the cop asks.
"Five days ago," the blonde says.
"Five days!" the cop says. "Why did you wait so long to call us!?"
"Well, I didn't know it was rаре until the check bounced!"

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A blonde encountered a brunette friend of hers and said, “I heard that you had died.”
The brunette replied, “Well, you can see, I’m alive.”
To which the blonde said, “But I trust the redhead who told me more than you.”

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I asked my blonde girlfriend:
"If you inherited or won a million pounds, what’s the very first thing you would do with the money?"
She said,
"Thank the person I inherited it from."

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What happens if a Danish blonde moves to Sweden?
The average intelligence of both countries goes up.

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A blonde and a brunette got stuck in an elevator..
Blonde starts shouting:
"Help! Help!"
Brunette turns to her and says:
"We should shout together."
Blonde:
"Together! Together!"

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Two blondes are locked out of their car...
The first blonde is trying to unlock the car using a coat hanger. The second says to the first "hurry up! It looks like it's going to rain and the top's down!"

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A blonde is pulled over by a police officer...
"May I see your License Ma'am?"
"You know you cops really need to get your act together... One day your buddy takes my license away, and the next you ask for it"

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Two blondes get stuck in elevator
One of them starts yelling: HELP, HEEEELP
The other one then suggests: Maybe we should start yelling together
The first blonde starts yelling again: TOGETHER, TOGETHEEEEER

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Two blonde girls are celebrating at a table...
The waiter comes by and asks "What are you celebrating?"
They say "We finished this puzzle in only 6 months! And the box says from 2 to 4 years!"

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A blonde goes up to a priest and asks,"Do you know how much it is to rent a church singing group?"
He replied,"Do you mean a choir?"
She snaps back,"Ok,acquire a church singing group."

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My blonde girlfriend broke up with me today.
She was upset at me getting a text from Amber Alert

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My pal's dating twins. I asked him if he had any trouble telling them apart.
"Noooo..." he said "That's easy. Helen's got blonde hair and Brian's got a beard."

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A dumb blonde was asked,
"What item would you bring with you if went back in time?"
She said,
"A calender from 2020, duh."

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What insults can I call my brunette friend whom wants to go blonde?
I have a friend that wants to dye her hair blonde (she's naturally brunnette), and I'm trying to think of some funny nicknames to call her. Whatdya got???

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