Blonde Jokes

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A truck driver was driving between towns on a country road when he spotted a gorgeous blonde hitchhiking. He stopped without hesitation and she climbed into the cab showing mountains of cleavage. Two miles further down the road, he got a flat, pulled to the side of the road and got out to inspect the tire. He was fiddling around with the wheel, when the blonde opened the window and shouted down, "Do you want a screwdriver?" The driver replied, all smiles, "Might as well. I can't get this fuскing hub cap off."

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What do a blonde and a door кnов have in common? Everybody gets a turn.

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There were three women. a brown headed a brunette and a blonde. they were talking then they started talking about sеx. The brown headed one said i'm gonna have 3 baby's. The brunette said she was gonna have twins. And the blonde started crying and the other two women asked her what was wrong. And the blonde said she was gonna have baby dogs because she had sеx doggy style!

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Brunette: Do you like your new iPad?
Blonde: No, I can't use it.
Brunette: Why not?
Blonde: I couldn't find the buttons.

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Mr. Brown was working in his garden when on the other side of the fence, he heard his neighbor crying. Mr. Brown popped his head over the fence and asked,
"What's the matter Mary? What has upset you?" The blonde neighbor replied, "My dog has died and I'm going to bury it here." Mr. Brown said,
"You only have one dog, so why have you dug three holes?" She answered, "The first two were too small."

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One day a brunette walked into a bar filled with blondes. Everyone was chanting, "Fifty-one days! Fifty-one days!" Then two more blondes walked in and joined in chanting, "Fifty-one days! Fifty-one days!" Confused, the brunette asked blonde bartender, "Why is everyone chanting 'Fifty-one days'?" The bartender answered, "Our bar patrons over there finished a puzzle in only fifty-one days, even though the box said 'two to four years'!"

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One night, two blondes were at the Sydney airport. The first blonde asks the other, "Which is closer: the moon or Melbourne?" The second blonde replies,
"Duh, the moon. Can you see Melbourne from here?"

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A man is sitting in a cafe. A blonde waitress approaches and asks for his order. “I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream," he says. The blonde waitress replies, “I’m sorry, sir, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?”

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a вееr and a mop. The blonde bartender doesnt get it.

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A blonde fell and hurt herself at work. The doctor said she was and would be fine, but needed a little time to heal. The doctor suggested an easier job for a week or so. She brought the doctor's note to her boss and he suggested light duty for the week. The blonde began to cry. Her boss asked why she was crying. She said,
"I don't know how to change lights!"

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A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are all being chased by cops. They reach an alley and there are 3 barrels. The redhead goes into the barrel filled with cats, the brunette goes into the barrel full of dogs, and the blonde goes inside the barrel filled with potatoes. The cops arrive at the alley and kick the barrels to see which ones have people in them. The cop kicks the barrel with cats and the redhead goes "Meow meow" so she doesn't get caught. The cop kick the barrel with dogs and the brunette goes "Bark bark" so she doesn't get caught. The cop kicks the barrel with the potatoes and the blonde says "Potato, Potato".

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Why did the blonde live in a circular shaped house?
Because her dog peed in the corners!.

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Why did the blonde go outside with her purse open?
Because she heard there would be a change in the weather.

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Teacher:
"If Astronomy is the name for the study of celestial objects, what would you call a person who studies the stars?"
Blonde student:
"Paparazzi!"

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I knew a blonde that was so sтuрid she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "Concentrate."

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Three blondes were on a hunting trip. Suddenly they came upon some tracks. One blonde says," They're deer tracks." The other one said,
"They're bear tracks." The last one said,
"They're elephant tracks!" They were still there when they got ran over by the train.

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I told my blonde friend this joke:
There were 3 blondes walking on a track,
1 said they were goat tracks
The other one said they were horse tracks
The third one said they were соw tracks
Then they got hit by a train.
My Friend asked "So what tracks were they?"

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A blonde man marries his girlfriend who is also blonde. It's their first honeymoon night and the man doesn't quite know what to do. He calls his dad, who says,
"Son, you take the hardest thing you got and you put it where she goes to the bathroom." The newlywed thanks his father, hangs up the phone, and places his bowling ball in the toilet.

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