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Вицове за блондинки
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Why do blondes take birth control pills?
So they know what day of the week it is.
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Why did the blonde bring a pencil to her bedroom? A: She wanted to draw her curtains.
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Two blondes are at work when one of them gets a delivery of a dozen roses from her boyfriend. The blonde coworker notices that the blonde recipient doesn't seem too pleased about getting the roses. "You know," says the coworker, "If I got a dozen long stem roses from a man, I would be very happy." The other blonde replies,
"Yeah, but now I have to spend half the night with my legs in the air."
"Why?" the coworker asks, "Can't you afford a vase?"
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I'm blonde, what's your excuse?
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Two guys are at a bar. One of them looks to the other and says,
"I had the best time last night. I had sеx with twins!" The other asks, "How could you tell them apart?"
"Well, Jessica had long, beautiful, blonde hair, and Alex had a goatee."
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How do you know when a blonde is using a viвrатоr? Her teeth are all jacked up!
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What did one blonde say to the other blone, while entering a bar? Well blondie, Bottoms-Up.
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3 women were on a island, a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. They find a magic lamp which a genie pops out of. He grants them all one wish. The red head wishes that a boat would come and get her. Soon after a boat appears and she is saved. The brunette wishes that a plane will come to get her. Soon after a plane appears and she is saved. The blonde starts to get bored and says "I wish my friends were here!"
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Blind
El del bar y el chiste de Lepe
Ein Blinder will einen Blondinenwitz erzählen
ΕΝΑΣ ΤΥΦΛΟΣ
The blind man
O τυφλός
Ο τυφλός και η ξανθιά
Един слепец си седи на бара и по едно време се провиква към бармана:
Мъж влиза в заведение
Доаѓа малиот Ѓокица дома и целиот среќен му вели на татка си:
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender:
A blind man enters a bar and find his way to a barstool.
A man was recently flying to New York. He decided to strike up a conversation with his seat mate.
Un ragazzo entra in un bar e dice: "Ho una nuova barzelletta di raccontare sui carabinieri". Un uomo
Слеп маж влегува во женски моторџиски бар
A blind man walks into a bar. The blind man sits down
Em um bar
Un borracho está tomando un trago en un bar donde el ambiente es bastante oscuro. En esto se da vuelta hacia la mujer que tiene a su lado y exclama: - ¿Quieres que te cuente un chiste de rubias super cómico? La mujer le responde:... - Bueno
En blind man på en barstol skriker till bartendern
Un aveugle entre dans un bar lesbienne par erreur. Il trouve son chemin vers le comptoir et commande un verre. Au bout d'un moment il crie à la serveuse: - "Eh
Kommt ein Mann in eine Bar und sagt: "Hey Leute
So a dude turns to the guy next to him at a bar and asks
Een blinde man gaat per ongeluk een vrouwenbar binnen. Hij vindt zijn weg tot de toog
Bardaki taburede oturan kör adamın biri barmene
En blind man går av misstag in på en lesbisk bar. Han sätter sig på en barstol och beställer en drink. När han har suttit en stund ropar han på bartendern: - Hörru
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender
After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious
En blind mann kommer inn på en damebar ved et uhell. Han finner veien frem til baren
A man walks into a bar
Sokea mies meni baariin ja kysyi baarimikolta "haluatko kuulla blondivitsin?" Vierestä kuului kuiskaus "kuulehan nyt. Ennenkuin kerrot sen vitsin sinun tulee tietää
A blind man walks into a bar
Aan een bar in een drukke kroeg zit een blinde man welke plotseling vrij hard roept naar de barkeeper: He barkeeper
Un hombre ciego entra en un "bar de chicas" por equivocación. Se las apaña para llegar hasta la barra y pide una copa
Kör bir adam yanlışlıkla Bayanlar Barına girer. Bara doğru ilerler ve bir içki ısmarlar. Biraz oturup
En blind mann i en bar roper til bartenderen: - ”Vil du høre en blondinevits?” Mannen ved siden av ham lener seg bort og hvisker: - ”Før du forteller den vitsen er det noe du bør vite. Bartenderen...
En blind mand kommer ved en fejltagelse ind på en bar for kvinder. Han famler sig frem til en barstol
Slepec se svým psem vejde do baru
So a blind man accidentally walks into a women's bar and says to the girl bartender, " you wanna hear a blonde joke?" and the bartender says " well sir the lady next to you is a blonde weight lifter, the two waitresses are both blonde and in a girls wrestling team the other bartender is blonde as well as me are both body builders. Now sir are you sure you wanna tell that joke still?" and the man says "no. not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times
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A blonde picks up a grenade and throws it at you what do you do?.... You pick it back up, pull the key and throw it back.
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There's a blonde a brunette and a ranger there stuck on an island and decide they gonna try to get off the island they find out the islands 1000 kilometers from the shore so the brunette swims all the way then the ranger swims all the way the the blonde swims half way decides shes tired and swims back
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A new patient was quite upset when the doctor’s nurse led him to a small, curtained cubicle and told him to undress. "But I only want the doctor to look at an ingrown toenail!" he protested. "Our rule is that everyone must undress," replied the blond nurse. "That’s a sтuрid rule," grumbled the patient, "making me undress just to look at my toe."
"That’s nothing," growled a voice from the next cubicle. "I just came to fix the phones!"
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Blonde Rides Shotgun
The Blonde and the Blinker
Δυο ξανθιές στο αμάξι
Скъпа
Какво отговоря блондинка като я попиташ дали мигачът мига?
Две блондинки се возят в кола.
Един борец казал на друг:
Што одговара плавуша кога ја прашуваат дали работи жмигавецот на колата:
Zwei Österreicher überprüfen ihr Auto:
A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked.
- Vet du vad norrmännen säger om blinkersen i bilen? - Fungerer
C'est deux belges qui sont dans une voiture et le préparent pour partir en vacances. Le conducteur dis au passager - Va voir si le clignotant marche bien s'il te plaît. - Ouais
Carabinieri in auto: "Appuntato guarda se la freccia funziona". "Ora si'
Det var en norrman
A man got in a taxi cab to be driven to work. They were about to turn a corner
A husband is driving with her blonde wife
Kevin
Un tipo le dice a la mujer rubia: - Andrea
What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working? Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.
Det var en Svensk turist som var ute och åkte bil i Norge. Han svängde in på en verkstad för att kolla så att alla lampor på bilen fungerade. - Kan jag få hjälp med en sak? Frågade svensken. -...
Det var två norr män som skulle åka bil. Då sa den som skulle köra till den andra: - Kan du gå ur och kolla så blinkersen funkar? - Okej
P: O que uma loira te responde quando você pergunta se o pisca-pisca está funcionando? — Está; não está; Está. Não está...
Ein Mann bittet eine Blondine sich hinter sein Auto zu stellen
Two blondes are driving down the road
A guy driving his car asks his blonde girlfriend to stick her head out of the window and check to see if the blinkers are working
This guy picked up a dumb hitchhiker
Quando uma pessoa pergunta para uma loira se o pisca-pisca do carro está funcionado o que ela diz? R.. tá
A guy asked a blonde if his blinkers were working and she replied
On,off,on,off
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Did you hear about the blonde who ran out of room to write on a transparency sheet?
She turned it over and used the other side!
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Blonde Invention:
Book on how to read
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A blonde a brunette and a red head are getting chased by the police and they hide in the farm. The brunette hides behind a sheep. The red head hides behind a соw . The blond hides behind a sack of potatoes. The cop comes in to where the brunette is ,"is anyone in here?". She says bahhh ."he then goes in where the red head and says"is anyone in here?,"moo". The cop goes into where the blond is and says "is any one in here?" The blonde says "potatoes"
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A surgeon went to check on his patient -- a pretty blonde -- after an operation. "You'll be fine," he said after checking her out.
"Doctor? I have kind of a personal question," she said.
"Certainly -- doctors are trained to be discreet. What's your question?"
"Well," she asked,
"How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sеx life again?"
The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl.
"What's the matter, Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
"Well yes, you'll be fine!" he replied. "It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."
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A blonde guy in the 6th Grade got a ticket that said 'Free Dress Day.' He came back to school and wore a dress that said 'FREE!' on it.
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