Blonde Jokes

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When a blonde gets told to do an Essay,she does a Mexican.

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Boyid it hurt when you fell from hevan?
Blonde: are you calling me judah?....
{blonde walks off}
Boy tells friends: first brunnetts ,then blacks, now blondes? lets go for reds.

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Two blonde chics are typing up their essays when one of them stopped suddenly, confused as shiт. She turns to the other blonde girl and asks, "how do we spell 'laugh?'"
The blonde girl replies,
"Duh! L-O-L... the 'F' is silent."

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One day on friday the 13th a blonde and a brunette are on a boat leaning over the rails looking at the water. All of a sudden the brunette loses her balence and falls over the side of the boat. She is hanging onto the rail and the blonde is just standing there not helping. Eventually the brunette loses her grip and drowns. Once the blonde dies of old age they run into each other in heavan. The brunette asks "why didnt you save me" the blonde says "cause it was friday the 13th and your suposed to have bad luck,duh

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead are stranded on a island. They search the island and find a lamp. They rub it and out pops a genie. He says since there's three of them each gets one wish. The brunette wishes she was back home and disappears from the island. The redhead wishes the same thing and disappears from the island. The blonde looks around and says "I wish I had my friends back"!

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One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She said "Santa, will you stay with me?", Santa replied, "Но Но Но gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys."
So she took off her night gown, wearing only a вrа and раnтiеs, she asked "Santa, now will you stay with me?"
"Но Но Но gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys."
She takes off everything and says "Santa, now will you stay with me?"
Santa replies "Gotta stay, gotta stay, can't get up the chimney with my d*ck this way!"

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A blonde mechanic told one of his customers " I couldn't fix your brakes, so I made your horn louder!"
Lol

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A man shouts out to a blonde on the other side of a river and says " How did you get to the other side?"
The blonde replies by saying "You are on the other side"

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A blonde woman is driving her car down the highway going way, way too fast. She passes a patrol car and is immediately pulled over. The police officer, who is also a blonde woman, comes over to the window and asks for her license. Dumbfounded, the blonde driver frantically tears through her pocketbook but can't seem to find it. She asks the officer, "Well what does a license look like?". The officer says,
"It's a small card with you picture on it." So she starts looking again and pulls out a small mirror. "Aha! I found it!" she says, and hands it to the officer. The officer looks at it, hands it back and says "Your free to go." The driver asks why and the officer responds, "I didn't know you were a cop."

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Why did God give blondes 2 points higher IQs than horses? Because he didn't want them shiттing in the streets during parades.

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How can you tell if a blonde's been in your car?
The gear sticks wet.

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There was 3 women in the desert a redneck, brunette, and a blonde. They found a genie and he granted 1 wish to each one of them. The redneck wished for a fаn so she wouldn't be hot. The burnette wished for a cantons full of water so she wouldn't be thirsty. The blonde wished for a car door so she could тооl down the window when it got hot.

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Blonde Customer at McDonald's: how many chicken nuggets come in a 6 piece?
Blonde Cashier : I don't know let me check.

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There was a blonde, brunet and a redhead they were on there way to heaven. God said,
"I will give you 100 jokes; if you laugh you go to hеll." The brunet laughed at the 10th joke and she went to hеll. The redhead laughed at the 43rd joke and she went to hеll. The blonde was at the 99th joke then she laughed. "WHAT THE НЕLL YOU WERE ALMOST TO HEAVEN ! WHY DID YOU LAUGH?", said god. Blonde said,
"I just got the first joke."

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A blonde police officer stops a blonde driver,
Officer: Can i see your drivers license?
Driver: yeah i think i have one of those, what does it look like?
Officer: It's rectangle is shape and has your face on it.
Driver: Oh, okay, *pulls out mirror*, here you go.
Officer: *looks at reflection*, I'm sorry ma'am, i didn't know you were an officer of the law, you may carry on.

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There are 3 girls on a island. they are blond, brunette and a black haired.
After 3 weeks of starvation god comes down and says "Go home alredy. i will give you 1 wish each. use it wisley.
The brunette says "i want to go home!" and рооf she goes home.
The black says "i want to go home!" and рооf she goes home.
The the blonde says "i want my friends back!"

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A guy is outside watching the day view until a blonde comes out of her house and checks her mail box she opens it and then she closes it. a few seconds later she comes out again and checks it again but angry and the she slams it shut . Seconds later she comes out angryer than ever then the man walks up to her and said whats wrong she answers my sтuрid computer keeps saying that i have mail.

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Double heart attack message by a girlfriend to a boyfriend:
1st Msg:
"Lets break up now,
Its all over..
2nd Msg:
"Sorry, Sorry, Sorry!
That was not for you.....

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