Chuck Norris

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Chuck Norris talks in my sleep.

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Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink.
If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.

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Chuck Norris once toboggoned down Mount Everest and then sprinted back up cuz he realized he lost his mitten.

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Chuck Norris jumped the grand canyon... Longways

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Chuck Norris once raced light.
He is still waiting for it to catch up.

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When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.

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Chuck Norris is so cool, ice cubes are jealous...

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Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA.

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Chuck Norris isn't appropriate... appropriate isn't Chuck Norris.

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The Titanic sunk because Chuck Norris ran into it during his swim.

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At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.

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The reason Waldo hides is because he saw Chuck Norris looking for him.

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Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.

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Chuck Norris will chuck you in the norris!

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Anybody can outdo the impossible, but nobody can outdo Chuck Norris.

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15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest?
I don't know he is still busy.

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Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.

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According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan.
When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.

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