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There are 3 men on a plane a Mexican an American and a Russian the Mexican says "I hate my country!"
And throughs a soup out the window the American says "I hate my country" and throughs a pie out the window.
The Russian says "I hate my country!"
And throughs a bomb out the window.
Then the plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying the Mexican says "what's wrong kid?"
The kid says "a soup fell on my mom's head and she burnt to death."
"I didn't do that" says the Mexican.
The American was walking and saw a kid crying "what's wrong kid?"
The kid says "my mom was driving and a pie fell on her windshield and drove off a cliff cause she couldn't see!"
"I didn't do that" says the American.
Then the Russian gets off the plane and saw a kid laughing his head off.
The Russian says "what's so funny?"
The kid says " daddy farted and the house went BOOM BOOM!"
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A child walks into a whоrе house with a dead frog on a string trailing behind him.
He makes his way up to the counter and says to the person behind such named counter to give him the most diseased woman you have.
She looks down at him for a few moments and replies “I’m sorry but I don’t think I can help you….If you would like, we have this young petite thing that could be just what your looking for.”
The child puts a 50 dollar bill on the table and repeats “I want the most diseased woman you have.”
She looks down at the bill and hesitates but she says to him “I can’t, but we have this nice grandmotherly type for you to cuddle and snuggle up to.”
The child looking irritated slams down another 50 dollar bill insisting that she give him the most diseased woman they have.
A few moments go by and finally the lady agrees and tells him to go to room 114 and wait a few moments.
As he goes up the stairs the dead frog on a string follows right behind him, hitting every step on the way.
Half an hour go by and the child comes down the stairs with the dead frog trailing behind.
As he is just about to step out the door and back outside the woman behind the counter stops him.
“Excuse me, but I have on question before you go…what is the dead frog for?
Turning around the child has a look of pure sencerity as he begins to explain.
“I wanted the disease so I could give it to my sister, who would give it to my dad, who would give it to my mom, who would give it to the mail man…And that’s the Son of a Вiтсh who ran over my pet frog.”
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¿Qué fue lo que dijo Dios después de crear al hombre? Tengo que ser capaz de hacer una cosa mejor. O que Deus disse depois de criar o homem? Creio que posso aperfeiçoá-lo ... Ce a spus Dumnezeu după ce a creat bărbatul? Ce naiba Co powiedział Bóg po stworzeniu mężczyzny? - Stać mnie na więcej. Hva sa Gud etter at han lagde Adam? Svar: Jeg er sikker på at jeg kan lage bedre enn det der... Какво е казал Бог Gud skabte først manden
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VISA Police: Why didn't you report your stolen credit card? Между приятели: A man noticed his credit card has been stolen - but he never reported it. The thief was still spending considerably less than his wife. Un employé de banque reçoit un coup de téléphone de sa femme comme quoi elle a perdu sa carte bleue. Due amici scambiano qualche chiacchiera. "Sai ieri mia moglie ha perso la carta di credito..." "Ah mi dispiace! Hai fatto subito la denuncia?" "No no Die Polizei fragt einen Mann: Warum haben Sie Ihre Kreditkarte nicht gemeldet Konrad freut sich: "Meiner Frau wurde vor zwei Wochen die Kreditkarte gestohlen." "Und da freust du dich?" staunt sein Freund. "Aber ja - Papá Perché se rubano la carta di credito ad un uomo questi non denuncia il furto? Perché il ladro spenderà sicuramente meno della moglie. Miten mies huomasi - ¡Papá! Két férfi beszélget: - Képzeld Um homem comenta com o outro: — Roubaram meu cartão de credito. — Você ja avisou a policia? — Não. mas o ladrão esta gastando menos que minha mulher! Kāpēc vīrietis neziņoja policijai Par nozagtu kredītkarti? Tāpēc Ein Mann erzählt mir My credit card was stolen yesterday but not sure if I should report it. The thief is spending a lot less than my wife normally does. A man receives a call from his Credit Card Company Έκλεψαν την πιστωτική κάρτα της γυναίκας μου. Δεν παραπονιέμαι
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This Joke Hurts Blonde in Pain Πονάω παντού Το σπασμένο δάχτυλο На някаква сватба станало сбиване и всички били прибрани в ареста. Ein Mann kommt zum Arzt. Един отива на лекар A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. Blonde walks into a doctors office and says: Kommt ein Mann zum Arzt: A woman runs into a doctor’s office and says “DOCTOR! DOCTOR! You have to help me! Everywhere I touch on my body it hurts!” Блондинка зашла к доктору: A blonde goes to her doctor complaining of body pains. Her doctor asked "Where does it hurt?" She touches her elbow and says Geht eine Frau zum Arzt und sagt: "Wenn ich hier drücke tut es weh Une blonde va chez le medecin et lui dit: -"Docteur...quand j'appuie là Carabiniere dal dottore: "Dottore A young woman said to her doctor - ¡Doctor Der Patient zu seinem Arzt: "Ich bin schwer krank und habe Schmerzen am ganzen Körper. Wenn ich mir mit dem Finger an den Kopf tippe tut es weh Doctor Le gars va chez le docteur et lui dit: - Lorsque je me touche ici A blonde went to the hospital because her body hurt. She told the doctor that where ever she touched herself it would hurt. The doctor told her to demonstrate. She touched her elbow and it hurt.... "Herr Doktor Une jeune femme blonde va voir son docteur. - "Ou avez-vous mal ?" Demande le docteur. - "Vous devez m'aider En brunett går till läkaren. – Vad kan jag hjälpa dig med? – Jo En ung brunett gick till doktorn och berättade att det gör ont på kroppen överallt där hon rör den. Omöjligt Temel bir gün doktora gitmiş ve meramını doktora aktarmış: – Doktor bey parmağımı karnıma bastırıyorum acıyor Een jonge brunette gaat de praktijk van de dokter binnen en zegt dat haar lichaam overal pijn doet Er kwam een man bij een dokter En ung tjej En mann gikk til legen og sa: – Jeg har vondt over alt Een jonge vrouw komt bij haar dokter met klachten over pijn. "Waar doet het zeer?" vraagt de dokter. "Het doet overal zeer - Doktor O português reclama de fortes dores ao seu médico: — Ai doutore A brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches each part of her body with her finger she says A Blonde walks into a hospital claiming that everywhere she touches hurts. So she goes into the examination room and the doctor says “Okay I’d like you to point to wherever it hurts”. So the Blonde... En man kommer in hos doktorn: – Snälla doktorn Cierta mañana Przychodzi kobieta do lekarza i skarży się na ból. - Gdzie panią boli? - pyta się lekarz. - Wszędzie - odpowiada kobieta. - Jak to wszędzie? Proszę być bardziej dokładnym. Kobieta dotyka kolana... Un tip merge la doctor si spune atingind diferite parti Ale corpului: - Doctore Mladá slečna přišla k doktorovi a povídá: „Pane doktore Börje gick till doktorn för att bli undersökt. Han beskrev för doktorn att när han petade sej i pannan gjorde det ont Ateina blondinė pas daktarą ir skundžiasi: - Gydytojau Ateina blondinė pas gydytoją ir skundžiasi: - Nežinau kas man yra. Paliečiu galvą – skauda Er komt een blondje bij de dokter. Ze zegt: Dokter.. als ik op mijn buik druk Det gør ondt Dokter Det var en gång en brunett som hade gått till doktorn Llega un enfermo a ver al médico y le dice: - Doctor Blondinen gick till doktorn och sa. - Jag har jätte ont när jag nuddar knät. Doktorn frågade blondinen om det gjorde ont när hon nuddade magen. - Ja - Doctor - No sé que me pasa doctor Een man komt bij de dokter en zegt: "Als ik hier druk heb ik pijn! Als ik op mijn been druk heb ik pijn! Als ik op mijn hoofd druk heb ik pijn!" "Aha - "Dottore Temel doktora gitmis. - Hastayim doktor A man goes to the doctor and says A blonde comes to a doctor and complains: Doc Došao mujo kod doktora i kaže doktoru: Gdje god da se pipnem boli me Doktor:to je zato što imate slomljen prst Chez le docteur Un Belge se rend chez le Docteur : - Docteur A brunette goes to the doctor A young blonde goes to the doctor and says I hurt all over. The doctor says point to where you hurt. She points to her elbow and says "OW!" Then points to her head and says "OW" and then finally... I went to the doctors yesterday I said: when I touch my back it hurts when I touch my knee it hurts when I touch anything it hurts! 😣 what’s wrong with me Doctor: you’ve broken your finger A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and exclaims: "Doctor A loira estava em casa e começou à sentir dores então decidiu ir ao médico. Ao entrar na sala o médico lhe pergunta: — Pois não senhora Num certo dia o dedo de Joãozinho estava maluco Joãozinho colocava o dedo dele na perna duia colocava na cabeça duia colocava no pescoço duia ai mariazinha colocou o dedo dela na perna dele não... O português foi ao médico reclamando de dores pelo corpo todo. — Ái doutor Uma loira que pintou o cabelo de ruivo vai no médico Chega uma mulher no consultório: — Doutor meu corpo esta todo dolorido. Eu pego aki - ui ai - dói e aki - aiiiii - dói. Eu não sabia mais o que fazer e resolvi vir aqui no médico... Médico... Um certo dia Uma jovem morena vai num consultório médico e reclama que todos os lugares do seu corpo doem quando ela os toca. — Impossível - diz o doutor - mostre-me como acontece! Então Um portugues estava doente mas nao sabia o que tinha. então foi ao médico chegando lá o médico perguntou: — O que tem seu Manoel? — Nao sei doutor Português Uma morena chega com o medico e diz: Me ajude O Português vai ao medico: — Doutor Çok güzel kizil sacli bir bayan doktorun ofisine girer ve her yerinin ağrıdiğini söyler. "imkansiz" der doktor "Gösterin lütfen bana" Kizil parmagini uzatir sol gögsüne bastirir ve çiglik atar Temel doktora gitmiş: - "Çok hastayım doktor Temel bir gün doktora gider. Doktora: - "Doktor bey Er komt een dom blondje bij de dokter en zegt: "Als ik op mijn arm druk Komt een man bij de dokter en zegt : ik heb hier pijn en hier en hier en hier enz. Zegt de dokter: ha ik weet het al je hebt een gebroken vinger! Patient: Dokter mijn buik doet pijn als ik er op druk en ook heb ik hetzelfde als ik op mijn hele lichaam druk O blonda merge la doctor si se Plange ca o dor toate. - Domnule doctor
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I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay. Hvorfor blinker kvinder ikke under forspillet? Der er ikke tid. Pourquoi les femmes ne clignent-elles pas des yeux pendant les Préliminaires? - Pas le temps. Varför blinkar inte tjejer under förspelet? - De hinner inte
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Por que as aranhas viúvas negras matam o macho depois da cópula? Para acabar com o ronco antes que ele comece ...
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