One Liner Jokes, Short jokes

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You this read wrong.

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"I'll just watch one youtube video and then go back to work" -said, no one ever.

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Dear MTV,
What the fuск happened?
Sincerely, Music.

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The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

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If someone sexts you and you didn't want them to, does that mean you got molexted?

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I hate сriррlе jokes. I cant stand them.

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Taking a dump in a bar is the equivalent of eating spinach as a kid... I will do everything in my power to avoid it.

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A fuск shall not be given today.

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What the hеll is up with "Fun sized" candy? There is nothing fun about less candy.

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You never see a McDonalds or Burger King under construction, they just show up.

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If the mud ain't flyin you ain't tryin

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If lifes a вiтсh, why hasnt it made me a sandwich yet?

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I feel as worthless as the red lights in Grand Theft Auto right now.

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If u can't take a joke; Stop walking around looking like one.

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Obviously medicine companies don't know what fruit taste like.

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I feel bad for kids nowadays. If the see a cool new toy on TV, they have no way to get it because their parents have to be 18 or older to call.

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They say nothing rhymes with orange... Lies! nothing and orange don't rhyme at all

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Justin Bieber's new album is coming out.
Also coming out: Any man who buys it.

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