Dear Diary

MONDAY: What a wonderful cruise this is going to be!
I felt singularly honored this evening. The Captain asked me to dine at his table.
TUESDAY: I spent the entire afternoon on the bridge with the Captain.
WEDNESDAY: The Captain made proposals to me unbecoming an officer and a gentleman.
THURSDAY: Tonight the Captain threatened to sink the ship if I do not give in to his indecent proposals!
FRIDAY: This afternoon I saved 1600 lives.

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