A Mom visits her son for dinner who lives with a girl roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how pretty his roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious….
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between him and his roommate than met the eye.
Reading his mom’s thoughts, his son volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you,we are just roommates.”
About a week later, his roommate came to him saying,
“Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver plate.
You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”
He said ,”Well, I doubt it, but I’ll email her, just to be sure.”
He sat down and wrote :
Dear Mother:
I’m not saying that you ‘did’ take the silver plate from my house, I’m not saying that you ‘did not’ take the silver plate but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your son.
Several days later, he received an email from
His Mother which read:
Dear Son:
I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with your roommate, and
I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with her.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she
Would have found the silver plate by now, under her pillow…
Love,
Mom.
A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years.
He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed.
He ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife,
“Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sеx, don’t resist, don’t complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll кill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!”
She responds:
“He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gаy, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.”