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Animal Jokes

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When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.
“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”
When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver’s cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions
Expertly.
Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”
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Animal Jokes
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night.
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Animal Jokes
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn, it’s impeccable.
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Animal Jokes
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.
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Animal Jokes
Why didn’t the koala make the finals?. It got diskoalafide
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Animal Jokes
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!!!
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Animal Jokes
Q:Why did the first Koala Fall off the tree A: Because it was dead
Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too.
Q:Why did the third Koala fall off the tree A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down
Q:Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in
Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going
Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree A: It was tied to the fifth koala
Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree A: Peer group pressure
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Animal Jokes
Why did the boy get a Koala? He had the Koalaficatians
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Animal Jokes
Why isn’t a koala a bear? It doesn’t have the koalafications
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Animal Jokes
Why did the koala climb the tree?
To get to the other branch
He made it don’t worry
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Animal Jokes
Q:What did one koala say to the other?
A:Hows it hanging.
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Animal Jokes
Why did the manager hire the marsupial?
Because he was koala-fied!
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Animal Jokes
Why did the koala go to bed?Because it was leafing
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Animal Jokes
What do you do if you bump into a koala
You koalagize to it.
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Animal Jokes
What is the name of the bear capitol?
Koala Lumpur
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Animal Jokes
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow moving business.
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Animal Jokes
A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him. When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded ‘’ I don’t know it all happened so fast’’.
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Animal Jokes
Do you know how a snail has a “nail” why can’t it be a nut?
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Animal Jokes
“Have You Ever Heard Of The Snail That Never Gives Charity?”
“Yeah, He Is So Shellfish!”
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Animal Jokes
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hеll was that all about?’
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Klingelt eine Schnecke an einer Haustür. Ein Mann macht auf. Sagt die Schnecke zu dem Mann: A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?" One day a man heard knocking at his door. He opened the door only to see a small snail sitting there smiling. The guy picked the snail up and threw it as far as he possibly could. Three years... En man sitter i sitt hus när det knackar på dörren. Han öppnar dörren och ser en snigel på trappen. Han tar upp snigeln och kastar den så långt bort han kan. Tre år senare knackar det på dörren... This snail crawls up to this bar as it was closing. The snail pounds and pounds on the door until the bartender finally opens the door. The bartender looks around and sees nothing until the snail... Klingelt 'ne Schnecke bei einem Mann an der Tür. Der macht auf, sieht die Schnecke und tritt sie die Treppe runter. Sechs Monate später klingelt die Schnecke wieder bei dem Mann und fragt: "Du, was...
Animal Jokes
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