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Animal Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
What do you do if you bump into a koala
You koalagize to it.
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Animal Jokes
What is the name of the bear capitol?
Koala Lumpur
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Animal Jokes
A man opened a snail farm.
He said that it is a slow moving business.
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Animal Jokes
A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him. When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded ‘’ I don’t know it all happened so fast’’.
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Animal Jokes
Do you know how a snail has a “nail” why can’t it be a nut?
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Animal Jokes
“Have You Ever Heard Of The Snail That Never Gives Charity?”
“Yeah, He Is So Shellfish!”
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Animal Jokes
A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says: ‘What the hеll was that all about?’
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Klingelt eine Schnecke an einer Haustür. Ein Mann macht auf. Sagt die Schnecke zu dem Mann: A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees a snail on the porch. He picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there’s a knock on the door. He opens it and sees the same snail. The snail says "What the hell was that all about?" One day a man heard knocking at his door. He opened the door only to see a small snail sitting there smiling. The guy picked the snail up and threw it as far as he possibly could. Three years... En man sitter i sitt hus när det knackar på dörren. Han öppnar dörren och ser en snigel på trappen. Han tar upp snigeln och kastar den så långt bort han kan. Tre år senare knackar det på dörren... This snail crawls up to this bar as it was closing. The snail pounds and pounds on the door until the bartender finally opens the door. The bartender looks around and sees nothing until the snail... Klingelt 'ne Schnecke bei einem Mann an der Tür. Der macht auf, sieht die Schnecke und tritt sie die Treppe runter. Sechs Monate später klingelt die Schnecke wieder bei dem Mann und fragt: "Du, was...
Animal Jokes
One day a snail got robbed by two turtles. The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles)
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Animal Jokes
Why do women have legs? Because they would leave snail tracks where ever they went.
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Animal Jokes
Why is Ronan’s forehead the size of Jupiter?
Because he dropped the TV on his forehead it also had rings
Why is Jupiter’s ring stuck in orbit?
Because Ronan’s forehead kept it stuck in orbit
Snails are like sреrм, slow and sloppy
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Animal Jokes
Ok so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him. it was a seven course meal if i say so myself
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Animal Jokes
Quack quack quack quack quack quack
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Animal Jokes
What a duck’s favorite thing to smoke?
Quack
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Animal Jokes
Curiousity killed the cat. But for a while I was a suspect
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Animal Jokes
Why are cats 🐈 good at video games!
Because they have nine lives!
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Animal Jokes
How do you pet a psychopaths cat?
You get it out of the microwave
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Animal Jokes
Anyone who says they dont like cats, has never had one cooked right…
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Animal Jokes
I came home from school One day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiот and told me to go kick rocks so I did except I kicked him out him and I called him the idiот for not moving out of the way
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Animal Jokes
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she’s away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, “You can’t tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn’t get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day you could have said that she died from complications.”
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, “Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can’t get down …”
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Animal Jokes
I ran over neighbors cat last night and I just want to say… THAT THING WAS FAST! I had run a red light to get it!
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Animal Jokes
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