Newest jokes

Newest jokes

Subway is similar to prostitution. You pay other people to do your wife's job.

So there's a black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican. They find a genie's lamp, they rub it, and poof appears the genie! The genie goes to the black guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" The black guy goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be back in Africa, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted. Then, the genie goes to the Mexican and asks, "What's your one wish?" The Mexican goes, "I wish for me and all my people to be in Mexico, happy and everything." So poof! His wish is granted. Now, the genie goes over to the white guy and asks, "What's your one wish?" and the white guy asks, "You mean to tell me that all the black and Mexican people are out of America?" The genie replies, "Yes." So the white guy goes, "Then I'll have a Coke."

Q:What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A:When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your brand new car.

Q: Why is a woman with no breasts a pirate's delight?
A: Because she has a sunken chest.

Q: Why do hamburgers go to the gym A: To get better buns!

Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: You can see right through them.

Q: What's green and has wheels?
A: Grass, I was lying about the wheels.

Q: What did the pony say when he had a sore throat?
A: Sorry, I'm a little horse.

PMS jokes aren't funny, period.

Molecule 1: I just lost an electron.
Molecule 2: Are you sure?
Molecule 1: I’m positive.