A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist.

The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there.
She then asked if there was something she could help the gentleman with.
The man said "this is embarrassing for me, but I have a permanent erection which causes me a lot of problems and severe embarrassment. I was wondering what you could give me for it?"
The pharmacist said "Just a minute, I'll go talk to my sister."
When she returned, she said, "the best we can do is 1/3 ownership in the store and $3000. a month in living expenses."

I made a mistake.

I realized my mistake.
I apologized!
She made a mistake
I told her it was her mistake.
I realized my mistake
I apologized!

Ever wanted to know why we use ABCDEF to define bra sizes?

A - Appreciable
B - Good
C - Canon
D - Demented
E - Huge
F - False

- So, what do you do in your free time?

- I stalk people
- Oh, ok.. I like to swim
- I know ..

Last night I was relaxing on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife's voice from the kitchen:

"Oh sweetheart, what would you like for dinner, my love? Chicken, beef or lamb?"
I said, "Thank you, darling. I think I'll have chicken."
She replied, "You're havin' a peanut butter sandwich. I was talkin' to the dog!"

Porn movies are the most positive movies.

No murder, No war, No fight, No racism, No language problem, Good cooperation, Good coordination, Natural acting, Everybody enjoys the climax, Lots of love, Always a very happy ending for all characters. And the best part is:
No matter which point you start watching,You will understand the story.

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard.

I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home. He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep on the couch. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back, resumed his position on the couch and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: "Every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap."
The next day he arrived with a different note pinned to his collar: "He lives in a home with four children - he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?"