Newest jokes

Newest jokes

Q: Why couldn't Dracula’s wife get to sleep?
A: Because of his coffin.

Why do you never see zebras or antelopes at Victoria Station?
Because it's a mane-lion station.

My dad died the other day but, i was able to hear his last words"son are you still holding the ladder"

What can a dwarf do
standing up that a
tall person can’t do
standing up
perform fellatio

this is a lot like anal sex
you always miss 100% of shots if you take it

What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
Uranus!

i would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it

What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers? A redneck virgin

What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first bite <3

Guy: Do you wanna hang out this Friday?
Girl: Sorry, but I am getting married this Friday!
Guy: Wow, well congratulations! Then how about this Saturday?