// Newest jokes

Police stops a man in his car.

Police: Sir, what’s in that bottle?
Man replies: Water.
Police: [sniffs] It smells like wine!
Man: Oh no, Jesus did it again!

A little boy, already tucked in bed, asks his daddy to please leave the light on.

“But why? Such a big boy?”
“I’m afraid of the dark, daddy…”
“Now that’s just racist, son!”

Guest to a waiter: “I’m actually quite sorry we haven’t discovered your restaurant earlier.”

Waiter: “Oh, that’s nice. So you liked it here?”
Guest: “No. But earlier, that meat might have still been OK.”

Police: Do you know why we stopped you?

Man: No, I’m as baffled as you are!

A man looks at himself in the mirror: “1 inch more and I’d be a king.”

The mirror replies: “1 inch less and you’d be a queen.”

- So, Mr. Brandberg, are you happy with your new hearing aid?

– Very much, doctor. I already changed my last will twice!

Why are seniors encouraged to take healing mud baths?

So they’d slowly start getting used to earth.

Two farmers are walking down a road when suddenly they’re passed by a headless biker.

Weird, but – well. They continue down the road. After a while they are passed by a headless bicyclist.
Hm. They walk on for a bit when one says to the other, “Joe, how about you put the scythe on your other shoulder?”