Newest jokes

8 year old kid looking at mom's ID card, Sex: F - he laughts.

- What's so funny?
- I can'y believe you are so bad in sex that you failed in it.

Husband died laughing

No english dictionary has been able to explain the difference between the two words, COMPLETE and FINISHED.

Some people say there is no difference, but there is:
When you marry the right woman you are COMPLETE!
When you marry the wrong woman you are FINISHED!
And if you marry a wife who likes shopping you are COMPLETELY FINISHED!

- Grandpa, do you still have s*x with grandma?

- Yes but just oral.
- What is oral s*x?
- I say "F*ck you", she says "F*ck you too"!

I am gonna lose weight.

I'm gonna exercise everyday.
I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it ...
Is that a cake?