Sports Jokes

Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

1

Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.

1

Golfer: The doctor says I can't play golf.
Caddy: O! So, he too has played with you?

1

Why did the referee have such a high phone bill?
Because he made to many calls!

1

There was a competition of arm wrestling between Chuck Norris and Superman.
And guess what, the loser had to wear his undies over his pants!

21

Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.

21

Chuck Norris once ran in a movie marathon.... and won.

21

Yo mama so stupid I told her I was going to the Super Bowl and she told me not to forget a spoon.

1

Why did the basketball player go to jail?
"Because he shot the ball!"

22

What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player?
Bear Jordan.

22

What do the World Series and bears on birth control have in common?
No Cubs

23

A man comes home after his regular Saturday golf game and his wife asks why he doesn't include Joseph in the games anymore.
The husband asks, "Would you want to play with a guy who regularly cheats, swears up a storm over everything, lies about his score, and has nothing good to say about anyone else on the course?"
"Of course I wouldn't," replies the wife.
"Well," says the husband, "neither would Joseph."

23

Chuck Norris can run a full marathon in just 3 miles.

23

Did you hear John McEnroe went for an audition for the latest Harry Potter film?
They turned him down, saying "You cannot be Sirius!"

14

Using only a black king, Chuck Norris defeated the world-champion grand-master in chess.

24

How does Mike Tyson differ from Metallica?
Metallica leaves a ringing in your ears.
Tyson leaves your ear in a ring.

29

Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

31

Billy:
"I was playing basketball and an Asian crossed me."
Mark:
"Haha, how does an Asian cross you?"
Billy:
"Because he crosses multiplies."

33

What you call a wrecking ball, Chuck Norris calls a punching bag.

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