Kids jokes

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Kids jokes

Bob asks his grandmother:
"Granny, tell us, how my sister and me came to life?"
"Your sister, Bob, came from heaven and a stork has brought you to us."
Bob then, turns to his sister and whispers:
"Should we tell her the truth, or should we let her die without knowing…"

I'm staying at her mothers house, and she said, it's only 8:30 pm and everyone's already ready for bed.
My niece chimes in and says,
"Not me.", to which i respond, "You don't count."
Without missing a beat, she said,
"Yes i do. One, two, three, four."

What did the red light say to the green light?
Don't look I'm changing!

At the New York Zoo, a little boy felt the urge to feed his banana to a big gorilla there.
His mother didn’t allow it.
The boy started to cry, and made his mother to change her mind.
Proudly, the boy goes near the gorilla with the banana and as he was about to give it away, the gorilla grabbed him and was prepared to eat him.
Crying and shouting, the boy tries to escape, but even his mother stood still in the sight of it.
Suddenly, something sounded like a hum up in the air... It was Superman!
Superman rescued the child!
The crowd relieved applauses.
The Media arrived at that point, and the reporters started interviewing Superman.
"Which newspaper are you from?" Superman asked to one of them.
"New York Times."
"You can ask me now." Superman said.
"Were you scared while saving the kid?"
"Yes, but it doesn’t matter to me. I want to help other human beings, no matter the cost."
To the next reporter:
"Which newspaper are you from?
"Herald Tribute. Which are your beliefs about children?"
"I believe that children are the future of our world and that we should, all of us protect them from evil."
The third reporter:
"Which newspaper are you from?"
"Risebroker"
(Rizospastis, a Greek newspaper)
"To you, you damned communist, I’m not saying a word!"
Next Day, Newspapers write in their FrontPage:
New York Times – Superman, the abnegation and human sacrifice standard!
Herald Tribute – Superman, the defender and children Savior!
Risebroker – Superman, Propagandist, right winged fascist, deprives food from South-African immigrant!

A mother goes to the market and leaves her lilttle boy in the house.
Meanwhile, she leaves her phone charging on the floor in the house.
Unfortunately, power goes off and there is a message that comes with a sound on the phone.
The message reads, ' battery low'.
Concerned, the little boy picks the phone and puts it on the table and wait for some time waiting to see another message on the phone that should read, 'battery high'.
He was disappointed.

A mother said to her son, "Look at that kid over there; he's not misbehaving."
The son replied,
"Maybe he has good parents then!"

What do you call a old snowman?
Water.

Q: What kind of kids do you get when a black and a Mexican marry.
A: Kids too lazy to steal.

"Johny, what is the difference between being sober and being drunken?"
Johny:
"When I was drunk I didn't need to buy a ticket to the carousel."
"Ok, and when you were sober and wanted to go to the carousel what has happened then?"
"The carousel man needed to center the whole carousel, of course.
The left half of the carousel was for me and the right one for all the small children."

Q: How are rape and an airplane similar?
A: The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.

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