My boss bought a new sports car and parked it on his space while I was walking by him.

I congratulated him to his newest purchase. He said:
"Well, if you work hard, set yourself goals, do overtime and work with determination, I will be able to buy an even better one next year."

- Give me your money!

- You know i'm a politician, right?
- Then give me my money!

Interviewer: - Your name?

Saudi: Ahmed.
Interviewer: Sex?
Saudi: 8 times a week.
Interviewer: Sorry, i meant male or female..
Saudi: Males, females, shemales, and sometimes even camels.
Interviewer: Holy cow!
Saudi: Yea, cows and goats, too.
Interviewer: Gosh, isn't that hostile?
Saudi: Horse style, dog style, any style!
Interviewer: Oh, dear!
Saudi: Nah, no deer, they run too fast!

Momster (n):

What happens to mom, after she counts to three...

Hi! I've got 2 tickets for the final of Euro 2016 but forgot that it's on the same day as my wedding so I can't go.

If you are interested and want to go instead of me ...
... It's at St. Nicholas' Church, Brighton and she's called Jane.


tobacco companies kill their best customers.