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First Mexican victim of Corona Virus

First Mexican victim of Corona Virus<br />

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Guy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs.
Guy: Do they swell?
Girl: No. They spread.

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Men-Women jokes

My ex texted me, “Wish you were here.”
She does that every time she walks through a cemetery.

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Father: “Son, you were adopted.”.
Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”
Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”

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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

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Mary to Jill: ‘My last boyfriend said he fantasised about having two girls at once.
Jill: ‘Most men do. What did you tell him?’
Mary: ‘I said, “If you can’t satisfy one woman, why would you want to piss off another one?”’

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This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs and she said "Press One please?"
So I did... I don't remember much after that.

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When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his bus.

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An old guy in his Volvo is driving home from work when his wife rings him on his carphone.
"Honey", she says in a worried voice, "be careful. There was a bit on the news just now, some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway".
"It's worse than that", he replies, "there are hundreds of them!"

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