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Първият мексиканец
Первая жертва корона вируса в Мексике
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Jokes
La joven que no le sienta bien el alcohol
Alkohol ist schlecht
cвидание
Проблеми со нозете
Госпожице искате ли малко вино?
Може ли да те почерпя едно питие?
- Princesa
- A senhorita aceita um uísque?
La ristorante
Hört i baren: - Får jag bjuda damen på en whisky? - Tack men jag avstår
Kluk: "Chceš se něčeho napít?" Holka: "Raději ne
Mevrouw
Guy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs.
Guy: Do they swell?
Girl: No. They spread.
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Dirty jokes
| Drunk Jokes, Drinking Jokes, Alcohol Jokes, Alcoholic Jokes, Beer Jokes
Получих СМС от бившата с текст: "БИХ ИСКАЛА ДА СИ ТУК"...
Моя бывшая жена только что снова написала мне: «Хочу
I was walking through the cemetery the other day when a thought crossed my mind.
My ex texted me, “Wish you were here.”
She does that every time she walks through a cemetery.
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Men-Women jokes
Грижи и проблеми
Скъпи
- Дорогой
- Скъпи
- Querido
Girl: When we get married
- Любий
Bir gün iki sevgili konuşuyormuş: Kız:hayatım evlendiğimizde sıkıntılarını ve dertlerini benimle paylaşmalısın. Oğlan:ama canım benim en ufak bir derdim ya da sıkıntım yokki. Kız:aşkım daha...
Girl to fiancé: "When we’re married I want to share all your troubles and worries."
Fiancé: ‘But I don’t have any troubles and worries.’
Girl: ‘I know, but we’re not married yet.’
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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes
Сине
Vater zum Sohn: "Kind
Der Vater sagt zum Sohn: Sohn
Father: “Son, you were adopted.”.
Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”
Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”
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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes
| Dark Humor
Роденден
Συμβουλή...
Най-добрият начин да запомниш рожденият ден на жена си е да го забравиш веднъж
Лучший способ запомнить день рождения своей жены - это один раз забыть его...
Fødselsdag Hvad er den bedste måde til at huske din kones fødselsdag? – Prøv at glemme den en gang
Pensamientos sobre el matrimonio Había una vez un hombre que dijo: "Yo no sabía lo que era la verdadera felicidad hasta que me casé
Hvad er den absolut bedste måde
Cea mai bună metodă de a ţine minte ziua de naştere a soţiei tale este să o uiţi o dată!
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes
| Valentine's Day Jokes, Valentines day
| Birthday Jokes
Mary to Jill: ‘My last boyfriend said he fantasised about having two girls at once.
Jill: ‘Most men do. What did you tell him?’
Mary: ‘I said, “If you can’t satisfy one woman, why would you want to рiss off another one?”’
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Jokes about Women
| Men jokes
| Sex Jokes
This morning I was beaten up by a вusтy woman in an elevator.
I was staring at воовs and she said "Press One please?"
So I did... I don't remember much after that.
1982
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Jokes about Women
| Sex Jokes
Спротивен правец
El conductor borracho en dirección contraria
Geisterfahrer zwischen München und Salzburg
Παρανοϊκός
O πόντιος στο Λονδίνο
Шофоьор на камион карал по магистралата Париж-Лион.
- Алло
Va un gallego conduciendo por Londres y pone la radio
Eine Blondine fährt auf der Autobahn und hört Radio. Der Sprecher gibt eine Eilmeldung durch:
Deux blondes sont en voiture. En consultant l'info trafic sur son téléphone
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway
A blonde was driving down the motorway when her car phone rang.
Tor Arne åkte på en svensk motorväg när han hörde ett meddelande på bilradion: - Det är en galning som kör åt fel håll på motorvägen. - En???? Det är ju hundratals...
C'est une blonde qui se promène en auto. à la radio
A woman is driving for 1st time on the highway. Her husband calls says: "Be careful love
Un belge est en train de rouler sur l'autoroute tout en écoutant la radio: " ... ATTENTION
En norsk kör på tyska autobahn med hög hastighet. Rätt som det är varnar man på bilradion för en galning
Ein Autofahrer hört ausm Radio: "Ein Geisterfahrer auf der A7!" Sagt der Fahrer: "Was? Einer? Hundert!"
Había un señor que iba conduciendo
En mann satt bilen sin på veg til Oslo. Han skrudde på radioen
Det var en gang en svenske som var ute og kjørte bil
C'est l'histoire d'une blonde qui roule sur une départemental quand elle entend un message radio important: '- Avis aux personnes roulant sur la departemental 2335 une voiture roule en sens...
Un tip merge pe autostrada 57 cu masina si asculta radioul. La un moment dat
Va un gallego de visita por navidad conduciendo en coche por Inglaterra y escucha las noticias: -¡ Atención! mucho ojo en la carretera que hay un loco conduciendo en sentido contrario. Y el gallego...
Un loco va conduciendo por la autopista en dirección contraria y oye por la radio: - La Guardia Civil alerta de que hay un coche que va en dirección contraria. Y el loco dice: -¿ Uno? ¡Si van todos!
Temel bir gün e-5 karayoluna ters yönden girmiş. Bunu fark eden trafik polisleri yol üzerinde seyreden araçları uyarmak için telsizden "e-5 te bir araç ters yönde seyretmektedir." diye anons...
Temel x otoyolunda araba sürerken bir yandan da radyo dinlemektedir... çalan şarkı bir anda kesilmiş ve bir anons gelmiş: - X otoyolunda ilerleyen sürücülerin dikkatine! bir araç ters yönde seyir...
Un automobilista ubriaco sbaglia l’entrata in autostrada e si immette in senso contrario
Jede takhle řidič auta a jen tak si pustí rádio a tam slyší: Po Mostecké dálnici jede nějakej zkurvenej debil v protisměru!!! Řidič vypne rádio a stěžuje si: Kéž by jen jeden
Žmona skambina naujajm rusui į mobilųjį telefoną: - Tu dabar magistrale važiuoji? - Taip
Skambina naujam rusui žmona ir sako. - Tu dabar važiuoji. - Jo o kas yra. - Greit stok šalikelėj per žinias pranešė kad kažkoks idiotas važiuoja priešinga eismui kelio puse. - Gerai būtį kad tik...
An old guy in his Volvo is driving home from work when his wife rings him on his carphone.
"Honey", she says in a worried voice, "be careful. There was a bit on the news just now, some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway".
"It's worse than that", he replies, "there are hundreds of them!"
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Work Jokes, Office Jokes
| News & Politics
| Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes
| Old People Jokes
What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig?
The letter F!
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Celebrity jokes, Celebrities Jokes, Pop Culture jokes
| Animal Jokes
| Donald Trump Jokes
| Political Joke
| Whats The Difference, What's The Difference jokes
Жената има последната дума във всеки спор.
В спора последната дума има жената.
Kvinnan får alltid sista ordet. Vad än mannen säger efter detta innebär att han startar ett nytt gräl.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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Jokes about Women
| Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes
| Men jokes
| Life Jokes
Когато една жена пита:
Когда женщина говорит:
When a woman says 'What'?
It is not because she didn't hear you. She's giving you the chance to change what you said
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Jokes about Women
Жена ми помоли да и дам гланца за устни. По погрешка и дадох лепило.
Meine Frau hat mich gebeten
Жінка попросила передати їй тюбик із помадою
The other day
Zwei Freunden treffen sich in der Kneipe. Sagt der eine: "Du
Forleden ba min kone meg om å gi henne leppestiften hennes
Żona prosiła mnie
Onlangs vroeg mijn vrouw me om haar lippenstift door te geven
I accidentally passed my wife a glue stick instead of a chap stick...
She's still not talking to me ...
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Jokes
Repülőjegyet vásárol egy utas: - Szeretnék New Yorkba repülni
A passenger piled his luggage on the scale at an airline counter in New York and said to the ticket agent:
"I'm flying to Los Angeles. I want the large bag sent to Denver and the two small ones to Cincinnati."
"I'm sorry sir, but we can't do that," said the ticket agent.
"That's good to hear because that's where they ended up the last time I flew this route."
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Aviation jokes, Flying jokes, Pilot jokes, Airplane jokes
| Customer service jokes
| Travel jokes
Συμβαίνει παντού
Татко
Син пита баща си:
- Папа
Sohn: "Stimmt es
Син пита баща си:
El hijo le pregunta al padre:
Young Son: Is it true
Little Johnny: Dad
- C'est vrai papa
O filho curioso pergunta para o pai: — É verdade que em algumas partes da África o homem não conhece sua esposa até casar com ela? O pai responde cabisbaixo: — Aqui também é assim!
- är det verkligen sant pappa att i vissa länder så känner inte mannen sin fru när de gifter sig? - Nej min son! Inte i vissa länder utan i alla länder!
— Тату
Een man en zijn zoontje lopen over straat. Vraagt het jongetje aan zijn vader “Papa
– Är det sant
Pepíček se ptá: „Tatínku
- E adevarat
- Papa
Syn pyta ojca: - Czy to prawda
- Μπαμπά άκουσα ότι σε κάποιες χώρες της Αφρικής ο άντρας δεν γνωρίζει την γυναίκα που θα παντρευτεί μέχρι την ημέρα του γάμου τους. - Αυτό παιδί μου συμβαίνει σε όλες τις χώρες.
O filho mais novo pergunta ao pai: — Pai
Синот го прашува таткото: Вистина ли е дека во некои области на Африка мажот не ја познава жената сè додека не ја ожени? Таткото: Така ти е тоа
A little boy says:
‘Dad, I’ve heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her.’
‘Son,’ says the dad. ‘That happens everywhere.’
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Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes
| Men jokes
| Dad Jokes
| Jokes about Africa
Един дядо си спомня добрите стари времена:
An elderly man remembers the good old days:
“When I was young, my mom could send me to a shop with a single $, and I would bring back 5 pounds of potatoes, 2 breads, a bottle of milk, a piece of cheese and 10 eggs. Nowadays that’s impossible – there are simply to many security cameras."
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Men jokes
| Old People Jokes
| Single People Joke
Обаждане в КАТ:
- Ало
C'est une blonde qui vient d'écraser un poulet. Elle se rend à la ferme la plus proche et dit au fermier : Je viens d'écraser un poulet
- Alio. Policija? Aš porą žąsinų numušiau
Zvans ceļu policijā: - Labdien
A farmer gets a phone call from his son.
"I've run over a pig and its stuck under the tractor still alive."
"Shoot it," says the farmer, "and then bury it."
About 20mins later he gets another call..."
"Done that, what should I do with his speed camera and motorbike?"
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Gross jokes, Disgusting jokes
Днес шефът така дълго вика по мен
Шеф меня так долго ругал сегодня
My boss got really angry with me this morning. He Kept shouting and cursing for at least an hour. After a while my habits kicked in and at one point I said
Today my boss shouted at me for so long that in the end I replied unintentionally:
Yes, honey!
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Work Jokes, Office Jokes
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