Most popular jokes

Most popular

First Mexican victim of Corona Virus

First Mexican victim of Corona Virus

Guy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs.
Guy: Do they swell?
Girl: No. They spread.

My ex texted me, “Wish you were here.”
She does that every time she walks through a cemetery.

Girl to fiancé: "When we’re married I want to share all your troubles and worries."
Fiancé: ‘But I don’t have any troubles and worries.’
Girl: ‘I know, but we’re not married yet.’

Father: “Son, you were adopted.”.
Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”
Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

Mary to Jill: ‘My last boyfriend said he fantasised about having two girls at once.
Jill: ‘Most men do. What did you tell him?’
Mary: ‘I said, “If you can’t satisfy one woman, why would you want to piss off another one?”’

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep - not screaming, like the passengers in his bus.

An old guy in his Volvo is driving home from work when his wife rings him on his carphone.
"Honey", she says in a worried voice, "be careful. There was a bit on the news just now, some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway".
"It's worse than that", he replies, "there are hundreds of them!"

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.