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First Mexican victim of Corona Virus

First Mexican victim of Corona Virus<br />

34280

Guy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs.
Guy: Do they swell?
Girl: No. They spread.

4932

Dirty jokes | Jokes | Drunk Jokes, Drinking Jokes, Alcohol Jokes, Alcoholic Jokes, Beer Jokes

My ex texted me, “Wish you were here.”
She does that every time she walks through a cemetery.

4893

Men-Women jokes

Girl to fiancé: "When we’re married I want to share all your troubles and worries."
Fiancé: ‘But I don’t have any troubles and worries.’
Girl: ‘I know, but we’re not married yet.’

3025

Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Jokes

Father: “Son, you were adopted.”.
Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”
Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”

2645

Dark Humor | Jokes | Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

2209

Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Jokes | Valentine's Day Jokes, Valentines day | Birthday Jokes

Mary to Jill: ‘My last boyfriend said he fantasised about having two girls at once.
Jill: ‘Most men do. What did you tell him?’
Mary: ‘I said, “If you can’t satisfy one woman, why would you want to piss off another one?”’

2155

Jokes | Jokes about Women | Men jokes | Sex Jokes

This morning I was beaten up by a busty woman in an elevator.
I was staring at boobs and she said "Press One please?"
So I did... I don't remember much after that.

2036

Sex Jokes | Jokes | Jokes about Women

An old guy in his Volvo is driving home from work when his wife rings him on his carphone.
"Honey", she says in a worried voice, "be careful. There was a bit on the news just now, some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway".
"It's worse than that", he replies, "there are hundreds of them!"

1517

Jokes | Work Jokes, Office Jokes | News & Politics | Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Old People Jokes

What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig?
The letter F!

1500

Political Joke | Jokes | Celebrity jokes, Celebrities Jokes, Pop Culture jokes | Animal Jokes | Donald Trump Jokes | Whats The Difference, What's The Difference jokes

When a woman says 'What'?
It is not because she didn't hear you. She's giving you the chance to change what you said

1436

Jokes about Women

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

1426

Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Jokes | Jokes about Women | Men jokes | Life Jokes

I never knew the meaning of true happiness until I got married but then it was too late.

1390

Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Jokes | Relationship Jokes

I accidentally passed my wife a glue stick instead of a chap stick...
She's still not talking to me ...

1374

A little boy says:
‘Dad, I’ve heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her.’
‘Son,’ says the dad. ‘That happens everywhere.’

1185

Marriage Jokes, Family Jokes | Jokes | Men jokes | Dad Jokes | Jokes about Africa

A passenger piled his luggage on the scale at an airline counter in New York and said to the ticket agent:
"I'm flying to Los Angeles. I want the large bag sent to Denver and the two small ones to Cincinnati."
"I'm sorry sir, but we can't do that," said the ticket agent.
"That's good to hear because that's where they ended up the last time I flew this route."

1181

Jokes | Aviation jokes, Flying jokes, Pilot jokes, Airplane jokes | Customer service jokes | Travel jokes

An elderly man remembers the good old days:
“When I was young, my mom could send me to a shop with a single $, and I would bring back 5 pounds of potatoes, 2 breads, a bottle of milk, a piece of cheese and 10 eggs. Nowadays that’s impossible – there are simply to many security cameras."

1156

Old People Jokes | Jokes | Men jokes | Single People Joke

A farmer gets a phone call from his son.
"I've run over a pig and its stuck under the tractor still alive."
"Shoot it," says the farmer, "and then bury it."
About 20mins later he gets another call..."
"Done that, what should I do with his speed camera and motorbike?"

1148

Gross jokes, Disgusting jokes | Jokes

Today my boss shouted at me for so long that in the end I replied unintentionally:
Yes, honey!

1120

Work Jokes, Office Jokes