Sex Jokes

‘I’m a bad lover.
Once I caught a peeping Tom booing me.’
Rodney Dangerfield

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Men, don’t buy expensive ‘ribbed’ condoms; buy an ordinary one and slip in a handful of frozen peas.

24

‘I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.’
Steve Martin

24

What have condoms and tires in common?
Good year.

40

On average, men have se-x 2 - 4 times a week. Except Eskimos. Eskimo men only have sex twice a year.
This came as a huge shock to me, as I had no idea I was a fu-cking Eskimo.

1

What happened when the chef got his hand caught in the dishwasher?
They both got fired.

101

A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him.
The husband: Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard... it almost hurts!

25

When two men have sex what position are they going to be in?
But what about when two dogs have sex?
That means that the two men are having sex doggy style then what ways are the dogs having sex?
That means that the dogs are having an affair with the men to have sex doggy style.

23

Q. What's a blonde's idea of safe sex?
A. Locking the car door.

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