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Dad Jokes

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A single glance tells me if somebody is lying. It’s the fact that they’re horizontal that gives it away.

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Dad Jokes

Not even orcas dare attack an octopus.
It’s too well armed.

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Dad Jokes

Cannibals aren’t very sociable. They’re all fed up with people.

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Cannibal Jokes Dad Jokes

Two cows meet, one says,
"Mooooo!"
The other one is offended, "Hey, I just wanted to say that!"

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Dad Jokes

Two penguins meet. One says, “Jesus it is cold today."
The other hisses, “Shut up. Penguins can’t talk.”

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Dad Jokes

Why didn’t the Orange drive when the lights turned green again?
No juice!

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Dad Jokes

Do you know the most important words that could open a lot of doors in your life?
Push and Pull.

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Dad Jokes

I’ve never liked speed bumps much. But I’m getting over it slowly.

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Dad Jokes

Have you heard there was a kidnapping at the school?
[No]
But it’s fine now, the kid woke up again.

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School Jokes Dad Jokes

I was a doctor for a while but then I quit. I simply didn’t have enough patience.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Dad Jokes

Little Petra asks her dad at breakfast time, “Daddy, can you please teach me how to make eggs?”
Dad shakes his head, “Nope.”
“But why daddy? I want to learn!“
The dad winks at her, “I can’t teach you how to make eggs because I’m not a hen.”

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Dad Jokes

I saw an expiration day on an anti-aging cream. Now that’s just a scam!

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Dad Jokes

“Esrowneve” may look like gibberish, but when you put it backwards, it’s even worse…

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Dad Jokes

How to say hi in mandarin

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Dad Jokes

Guys, I need help here. I just had an argument with my wife & she told me I was right.
"What do I do next?"

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Dad Jokes Wife jokes