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Rude Jokes

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Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse's аss?
A: A mechanic!
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The Bachelor's Life La chica de la lasaña y el cajero gracioso Single? Момиче пазарува в магазина и на касата: Жена пазарувала в супера. Докато оставяла нещата на лентата един пияница се приближил, огледал подробно покупките и и казал тихо: Una chica entra en un supermercado y compra lo siguiente: Uma mulher passava as compras no caixa de supermercado percebeu que um bêbado examinava detalhadamente seus itens de compra: * 2 caixas de leite integral * 1 dúzia de ovos * 1 litro de suco de laranja * 1 alface americana * 1 kg de café; e * 1 pacote de bacon fatiado. Enquanto o caixa registrava,... A woman went shopping. She walks to checkout counter and then the salesman packs all her groceries: milk, cheese, orange juice, half of bread, bar of soap, toothpaste... All of a sudden the... A woman walks into a supermarket and buys: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving of cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner 1 can of Soup For... Een vrouw ging naar de winkel waar ze de volgende spullen kocht : * 1 liter melk * 1 doos eieren * 1 liter fruitsap * 1 pak koffie * 1 ons ham * 1 doos Cup-a-Soup Terwijl ze haar... A woman is at a grocery store. She goes to the clerk to purchase her groceries. The clerk looks at her items and sees a carton of eggs, a gallon of milk, and a head of lettuce. He says to the... En pige lægger sine varer op ved kassen: 1 tomat, 1 lille pose kaffe, 1 frossen færdigret, 1 tærte, 1 müslibar og en frossen pizza! Manden ved kassen spørger smilende: – Single, hva? Pigen smiler... En pige vader ind i et supermarked, og køber følgende: 1 stykke sæbe 1 tandbørste 1 tube tandpasta 1 lille franskbrød 1 liter mælk 1 æble 1 banan 1 appelsin 1 liter juice 1 glas syltetøj 1 bage... A girl walks into a supermarket and buys the following: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 apple 1 banana 1 orange 1 plum 1 peach 1 grapefruit 1 tomato... En kvinna kommer in i affären och köper lite saker, hon kommer fram till kassan och lägger upp en banan, ett äpple, en tandborste, en schampoflaska, en tvål, en kam, en apelsin, en tandkräm, en...
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables.
The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?"
"Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?"
"Because you're really ugly," replied the man.
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What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? He wiped his аss.
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Ο ρατσισμός δεν έχει όρια... Που χωράνε 1000 Εβραίοι Πως χωράνε... Wie bringt man 100 Juden in ein Auto? como metes 30 judios en un 600? facil, en el cenicero Hur gör man för att få in 20 judar i en bil? Du sätter två där fram, tre där bak och resten går in i askkoppen. Hur många judar får det plats i en folkvagn? 27! 2 i framsätet och 25 i askkoppen. Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: Three in the back, two in the front and the rest in the ashtray. Combien de juifs peuvent rentrer dans une New Beetle ? - Dix. Tu en places cinq sur les sièges, et cinq dans le cendrier. Folkevogn Hvor mange jøder kan der være i en folkevogn? – 45! 2 på forsædet 3 på bagsædet Og 40 i askebægeret
Q: How many jews can you fit in a VW Beetle?
A: 54, two in the front, two in the back, and fifty in the ashtray.
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Q. How can you tell a head nurse?
A. She's the one with the dirтy knees!
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Sugar - Honey - Iced - Tea ... Guess what it means.
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What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? By the time you're finished with the вrеаsт and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your воnе in.
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She's so ugly, she made a freight train take a dirt road!
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The story was really great. That's why I was closing my eyes the whole time trying to imagine it.
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Canadians are more polite when they are being rude than Americans are when they are being friendly.
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You're like a fат stump, I'm always falling over you.
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Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
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Sit down, give your mind a rest - it obviously needs it.
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The doctor finished examining my wife and beckoned me to a private room.
“The bad news is that I found an ugly growth on your wife’s neck”
“It’s called a head. I feel sorry for you.”
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I don't think you act sтuрid, I'm sure it's the real thing.
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I like you. You remind me of when I was young and sтuрid.
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What's the height of conceit? Having an оrgаsм and calling out your own name.
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Did something bad happen to you or are you just naturally ugly.
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Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?
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The Bachelor's Life La chica de la lasaña y el cajero gracioso Single? Момиче пазарува в магазина и на касата: Жена пазарувала в супера. Докато оставяла нещата на лентата един пияница се приближил, огледал подробно покупките и и казал тихо: Una chica entra en un supermercado y compra lo siguiente: A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?" "Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?" "Because you're really ugly," replied the man. Uma mulher passava as compras no caixa de supermercado percebeu que um bêbado examinava detalhadamente seus itens de compra: * 2 caixas de leite integral * 1 dúzia de ovos * 1 litro de suco de laranja * 1 alface americana * 1 kg de café; e * 1 pacote de bacon fatiado. Enquanto o caixa registrava,... A woman walks into a supermarket and buys: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving of cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner 1 can of Soup For... Een vrouw ging naar de winkel waar ze de volgende spullen kocht : * 1 liter melk * 1 doos eieren * 1 liter fruitsap * 1 pak koffie * 1 ons ham * 1 doos Cup-a-Soup Terwijl ze haar... A woman is at a grocery store. She goes to the clerk to purchase her groceries. The clerk looks at her items and sees a carton of eggs, a gallon of milk, and a head of lettuce. He says to the... En pige lægger sine varer op ved kassen: 1 tomat, 1 lille pose kaffe, 1 frossen færdigret, 1 tærte, 1 müslibar og en frossen pizza! Manden ved kassen spørger smilende: – Single, hva? Pigen smiler... En pige vader ind i et supermarked, og køber følgende: 1 stykke sæbe 1 tandbørste 1 tube tandpasta 1 lille franskbrød 1 liter mælk 1 æble 1 banan 1 appelsin 1 liter juice 1 glas syltetøj 1 bage... A girl walks into a supermarket and buys the following: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 apple 1 banana 1 orange 1 plum 1 peach 1 grapefruit 1 tomato... En kvinna kommer in i affären och köper lite saker, hon kommer fram till kassan och lägger upp en banan, ett äpple, en tandborste, en schampoflaska, en tvål, en kam, en apelsin, en tandkräm, en...
A woman went shopping.
She walks to checkout counter and then the salesman packs all her groceries: milk, cheese, orange juice, half of bread, bar of soap, toothpaste...
All of a sudden the salesman asks her:
"You're single, aren't you?"
A bit surprised woman smiles and answers:
"That's right, but how did you guessed that?"
"Because you're so ugly."
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Actually, I don't think you're dyslexic; just really, really sтuрid.
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Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them?
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The Bachelor's Life La chica de la lasaña y el cajero gracioso Single? Момиче пазарува в магазина и на касата: Жена пазарувала в супера. Докато оставяла нещата на лентата един пияница се приближил, огледал подробно покупките и и казал тихо: Una chica entra en un supermercado y compra lo siguiente: A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk, a packet of bacon, a small bag of rice and a few vegetables. The man at the checkout said, "I bet you're single, aren't you?" "Well yes, I am," the woman replied. "How did you know?" "Because you're really ugly," replied the man. Uma mulher passava as compras no caixa de supermercado percebeu que um bêbado examinava detalhadamente seus itens de compra: * 2 caixas de leite integral * 1 dúzia de ovos * 1 litro de suco de laranja * 1 alface americana * 1 kg de café; e * 1 pacote de bacon fatiado. Enquanto o caixa registrava,... A woman went shopping. She walks to checkout counter and then the salesman packs all her groceries: milk, cheese, orange juice, half of bread, bar of soap, toothpaste... All of a sudden the... Een vrouw ging naar de winkel waar ze de volgende spullen kocht : * 1 liter melk * 1 doos eieren * 1 liter fruitsap * 1 pak koffie * 1 ons ham * 1 doos Cup-a-Soup Terwijl ze haar... A woman is at a grocery store. She goes to the clerk to purchase her groceries. The clerk looks at her items and sees a carton of eggs, a gallon of milk, and a head of lettuce. He says to the... En pige lægger sine varer op ved kassen: 1 tomat, 1 lille pose kaffe, 1 frossen færdigret, 1 tærte, 1 müslibar og en frossen pizza! Manden ved kassen spørger smilende: – Single, hva? Pigen smiler... En pige vader ind i et supermarked, og køber følgende: 1 stykke sæbe 1 tandbørste 1 tube tandpasta 1 lille franskbrød 1 liter mælk 1 æble 1 banan 1 appelsin 1 liter juice 1 glas syltetøj 1 bage... A girl walks into a supermarket and buys the following: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 apple 1 banana 1 orange 1 plum 1 peach 1 grapefruit 1 tomato... En kvinna kommer in i affären och köper lite saker, hon kommer fram till kassan och lägger upp en banan, ett äpple, en tandborste, en schampoflaska, en tvål, en kam, en apelsin, en tandkräm, en...
A woman walks into a supermarket and buys:
1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving of cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner
1 can of Soup For One
1 16oz can of Miller Lite
The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?"
The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "How did you guess?"
He replies, “Because you’re ugly.”
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If I'd shot you sooner, I'd be out of jail by now.
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I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
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- Je vous serais reconnaissant, dit un buraliste à un monsieur, de ne pas fumer dans ce magasin. - Il me semble que si vous vendez des cigarettes, la moindre des choses serait d'autoriser vos... Влегува Цветко во продавница, си купува цигари, ги отвара и пали една. Продавачот му вика: - Извинете господине, тука не се пуши! - Е како продавате цигари, а не се пуши? - Епа, ние и тоалетна... Bemegy egy fickó a benzinkút shopjába és vesz egy doboz cigarettát. Kifizeti, majd egyből kivesz egy szálat és rágyújt. Az eladó figyelmezteti: - Elnézést uram, de itt nem gyújthat rá! - Miért,... Inne på en affär: - Ursäkta, man får inte röka här inne. - Men ni säljer ju cigaretter... - Vi säljer toapapper också...
A guy went to a supermarket and began to smoke.
Miss salesman: "Sir don't smoke here."
Guy: "I've just bought the cigarettes from here."
Miss salesman: "We sell condoms too; so that is not why you fuск me here."
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Какво да правите, ако вашето момиче почне да пуши? - Приятелката ми пуши, какво да направя!? - Лубрикант и бааавно!
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant.
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Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
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I pulled up next to a woman driver at the traffic lights today and shouted at her, “Hey! Don’t you know how to use your fсuкing mirrors?”
“Yes, of course I do!” she snapped
I replied, “Well, try using one to put some make-up on before you go out in public, you ugly сunт!”
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I Got A New Deodorant Stick Today. It Says Take Top Off And Push Up Bottom. I Can Hardly Walk, But When I Fаrт The Room Smells Lovely
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