Blonde Jokes

Most popular in this category

A blonde is pulled over by a police officer...
"May I see your License Ma'am?"
"You know you cops really need to get your act together... One day your buddy takes my license away, and the next you ask for it"

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Two blondes get stuck in elevator
One of them starts yelling: HELP, HEEEELP
The other one then suggests: Maybe we should start yelling together
The first blonde starts yelling again: TOGETHER, TOGETHEEEEER

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Another blonde joke
A professor told his class:
"Fame will come to you only after you succeed!"
A blonde asked,
"Who is 'Seed'?"

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Two blonde girls are celebrating at a table...
The waiter comes by and asks "What are you celebrating?"
They say "We finished this puzzle in only 6 months! And the box says from 2 to 4 years!"

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A blonde goes up to a priest and asks,"Do you know how much it is to rent a church singing group?"
He replied,"Do you mean a choir?"
She snaps back,"Ok,acquire a church singing group."

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My blonde girlfriend broke up with me today.
She was upset at me getting a text from Amber Alert

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My pal's dating twins. I asked him if he had any trouble telling them apart.
"Noooo..." he said "That's easy. Helen's got blonde hair and Brian's got a beard."

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A dumb blonde was asked,
"What item would you bring with you if went back in time?"
She said,
"A calender from 2020, duh."

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What insults can I call my brunette friend whom wants to go blonde?
I have a friend that wants to dye her hair blonde (she's naturally brunnette), and I'm trying to think of some funny nicknames to call her. Whatdya got???

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Me to my blonde girlfriend: What two languages would you like to be fluent in?
Her: English and American.

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‘Somebody complimented me on my driving today,’ said one blonde to her friend.
‘Really?’
‘Well actually it was on my parking.’
‘Really?’
‘Yes, they left a little note on my windscreen. It said “Parking fine.”

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A blonde stood on the streets of new york city with a surf board...
She just wanted to catch the highest of the heat waves!

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My blonde roommate walked into the bathroom with an undercooked steak, camera, and towel.
She said "I'm getting some snaps of a rare, meatier shower."

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A blonde was watching the news with a friend...
The headline read “10 Brazilians injured in explosion.”
The blonde asked their friend, “How many is a Brazilian again?”

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A blonde singer on our cruise ship seemed to be skipping one note in every song.
She told us she was scared of getting lost at C.

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What’s the similarity of a tornado and a blonde? They start with suскing and blowing, then they take your house
Sorry for formating

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Can we please stop the blonde jokes? They’re sтuрid, offensive and don’t contribute anything of value.
Just like blonde people.

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A blonde girl met a nice guy at her father's funeral
They hit it off immediately. Obviously, she was too grief stricken to make a move then.
A few days later, she asked around but was unable to reach him.
So, a week later, she killed her mom.

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How do blonde jokes end?
Trick question... they never do.

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[Blonde] Why don’t Blondes use vibrators?
The always chip their teeth.

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A blonde girl is in the woods...
She realizes she is lost and tries to make a fire. She fails and lies on the ground in defeat, crying.
But then her husband walks outside and tells her to come back inside.

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Where's the only place that blonde girls can have dark hair?
Between their teeth.

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Why did the blonde girl remove the bathroom door?
So that she can't be spied on through a keyhole.

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What's the positive thing about being a blonde?
You can't get a brain tumor.

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How do you tell a blonde from a brunette in the dark?
Just call out "can you hear me?" and listen for the reply "no, its too dark in here!"

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Two blonde girl goes to a bar.
The bartender asks:
'Are you sisters?'
The two blonde says:
'No, we aren't even catholics.'

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Blonde girl was staring at a bottle of juice...
Because the label said "concentrate."

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A blonde walked into a bar. Another blonde walked into that same bar.
The brunette ducked.

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When I get Starbucks in the morning, I always ask for a Norwegian.
It's a tall blonde.

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A very attractive blonde girl is changing in her room when she notices a man outside her window...
**Her** - What are you doing?!?
**Him** - Uhhhh... I came here for a peek at you.
**Her** - ОМG WHERE! Pikachu is my favorite!

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What do you get if you cross a Buddhist monk and a 16 year old blonde cheerleader?
Arrested for procurement of a minor. Trust me on this one.

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How to sink a submarine with a blonde on board?
Just knock. She will open it.

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A blonde and a brunette are in a room...
The blonde ask:
"What does idk stand for?"
Brunette:
"I don't know."
Blonde:
"ОМG, no one does!"

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Another Old Blonde Joke
A brunette yells to a blonde across a river, "Hey! How do I get to the other side of the river?"
The blonde yells back "You are on the other side!"

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What you get when you turn a blonde woman upside down?
A brunette with bad breath.

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A blonde girl is eating an ice-cream
Her friend tells her :
"You have ice-cream on your cheek".
The blonde girl starts to rub her left cheek. "No the other way".
She puts a finger in her mouth and rubs. "Hij it gonhe ?"
(sorry, it's more a visual joke)

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You don't have to kneel to eat sausage!

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Blonde

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They are not dangerous if you raise them right. I strongly disagree. Blonde women with Chucky tattoos are dangerous no matter how they're raised

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