Blonde Jokes

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Two blondes are locked out of their car...
The first blonde is trying to unlock the car using a coat hanger. The second says to the first "hurry up! It looks like it's going to rain and the top's down!"

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A blonde and a brunette got stuck in an elevator..
Blonde starts shouting:
"Help! Help!"
Brunette turns to her and says:
"We should shout together."
Blonde:
"Together! Together!"

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What happens if a Danish blonde moves to Sweden?
The average intelligence of both countries goes up.

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I asked my blonde girlfriend:
"If you inherited or won a million pounds, what’s the very first thing you would do with the money?"
She said,
"Thank the person I inherited it from."

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A blonde encountered a brunette friend of hers and said, “I heard that you had died.”
The brunette replied, “Well, you can see, I’m alive.”
To which the blonde said, “But I trust the redhead who told me more than you.”

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A blonde рrоsтiтuте calls the police to report that she'd been rареd...
"When did it happen?" the cop asks.
"Five days ago," the blonde says.
"Five days!" the cop says. "Why did you wait so long to call us!?"
"Well, I didn't know it was rаре until the check bounced!"

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My dog needed a checkup, so I Googled a place nearby. But when I got there, it was just this blonde white guy in army camo covered in swаsтiка tattoos.
Stupid Google found me a veteran аryаn.

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A blonde and a brunette stuck in an elevator. The blonde starts to shout:
“HELP HELP”. The brunette says:
“maybe we should shout together”. The blonde continues to shout:
“Together together”.
Ps sorry for my grammar. Hope Zoe guys understand it:

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A blonde, brunette, and a red head walk into a bar
Wow, these are great binoculars!

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A blonde, a drunк, a liar, and a loser walk into a bar to order a couple drinks...
The bartender says:
"There's my favorite customer! What will it be this time Ms. Clinton?"
Edit: Hahaha everyone's so butthurt. It's just a joke...

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A Smart Blonde, Big Foot and Santa Claus Jump From A Building. Who reaches the ground first?
No one, none of them exists.

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I was just boasting at work about how I'm currently sleeping with a set of twins...
All the lads were very impressed but one asked;
"How do you tell them apart?"
"Easy", I said,
"Michelle has long blonde hair and Dave has a moustache."

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A blonde and a brunette is sitting on a bench.
Out of nowhere, the brunette says: Look! A dead bird!
The blonde gazes up into the air says where?

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I told my girlfriend I was unfaithful
My girlfriend found blonde hair on the passenger seat of my car, so I had to say that I was cheating on her.
How embarrassing would it be if she knew I sold corn on the freeway?

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Three blondes found some tracks...
The first blonde said,
"Those are bear tracks!"
The second blonde said,
"No, those are deer tracks!"
The third blonde said,
"No those are dog tracks!"
And that was when the train hit them.

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A blonde asks what time is it. He replies it's 5 before 7
The blonde says: so it's 2?
Source: Joke was told to me in Russian. English it might not read well. Since jokes aren't allowed to be written in other languages here, I wrote an English variant.

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A blonde bursts out the doctor's office, yelling that the doctor flirted with her.
The staff rush to see what was going on, they asked her, "What did he do?"
She replied, "He told the nurse he'll check me out!"

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Why did the blonde wear a tanktop to school?
Because the constitution says you have the right to bear arms.

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A blonde lady is going to the doctor
Doctor: Hello miss, what's the issue?
Blonde lady: Oh doc, i swallowed an ice cube
Doctor: Ah okay, anything wrong?
Blonde lady: YES! It didn't come out yet!
Doctor: ...

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A blonde, a gingеr and a bald man walk into a live music bar.
The doorman refuses entry to the gingеr, because the band is playing soul music.

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