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Dad Jokes

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What would you call a clock covered in chocolate?
Food around the clock.
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Why is our nose right in the middle of our face?
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Well, it is the scenter.
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Other than “It’s fine,” what other life threats do women use?
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Did you hear the joke about the elephant in the elevator?
No? Me neither, I took the stairs.
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Do you know what my dream job is?
[No]
Cashier. Women are literally lining up for you.
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Лесно е да разпознаеш гинеколог сред други лекари. - Как се разпознава гинеколога на медицински конгрес? Comment reconnaît-on un gynécologue dans un congrès médical? C'est le seul qui a sa montre sur l'avant-bras. - Jak poznać ginekologa na kongresie lekarzy? - Tylko ginekolog nosi zegarek na bicepsie. - Як розпізнати гінеколога на медичному конгресі? - Тільки у нього одного годинник на передпліччі. Come si fa a riconoscere un ginecologo in un congresso medico? E’ l’unico che porta l’orologio sull’avambraccio. Wie erkennt man einen Gynäkologen im Ärzte- Casino? Er trägt die Armbanduhr hinter dem Ellbogen.
How do you recognize a gynecologist?
He usually wears his watch closer to his elbow.
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I get all kinds of weird looks at the gym. Can’t they
Bring their own pizza?
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My dad's prostate exam joke
I got a little worried when I noticed hands on both my shoulders.
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What did the Mexican firefighter name his 2 sons?
Jose and Josb
Joke my dad told me a long time ago, although I know he didn't create it
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What would Joan Rivers be doing if she was alive right now?!
Scratching at the inside of her coffin.
Courtesy of my dad.
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My daughter can be so cruel...
Her: Hey dad, what is the difference between broccoli and boogers?
Me: I don't know, what?
Her (pointing at me): YOU, don't eat your broccoli!
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What can a White person say to another White person that a Black person can't say to another Black person?
"Hi dad"
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Gift before the Prom
"I'm ready for my first prom daddy"
"Here, take this box son... And don't make the mistake I made"
"Whats in the box dad"
"... Condoms"
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Whats the best part about dating a black girl?
You rarely have to meet their dad.
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Do you know why I only date black girls?
Because I hate the awkwardness of meeting a girlfriend's dad
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What does a young girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity?
"Careful, dad, don't crush my smokes."
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I told my dad that I don't like being a single child.
"I want a brother!" I said.
He said,
"Having a child is a long process, your mother and I don't need that right now."
"Maybe you should consider adoption?" I asked.
He said,
"No, we're not doing that again."
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I was playing frisbee with my dad today...
I was playing frisbee with my dad today and was wondering why the frisbee kept getting вiggеr. Then it hit me.
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I mentioned my back pain to my dad in passing today. His reply?
"At least it's all behind you."
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I may look like a joke to you....
... But I'm completely dad inside
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