Dad Jokes

Most popular in this category

Son: Hey Dad, theres some guy collecting for the old folks home at the door
Dad: Great! Give him Granny!

0 0

Before going to party my dad said,
"Don't bring any girls home, tonight."
That was pretty harsh I thought, considering my sister went with me.

0 0

My dad was a stubborn man. He couldn't understand why you shouldn't install a ceiling fаn with duct tape.
And then it hit him.

0 0

A son and a dad are talking
Son: Why is the sky blue?
Dad: The same reason your eyes are blue.
Son: So the sky slept with the postman?

0 0

I liked to pretend my dad was a superhero
He was always the invisible man...

0 0

My dad text me saying, "Don't try to be someone you're not."
It hurt when he added, "Oops, forgot the comma after 'someone'."

0 0

I'm terrified of bats, but I blame my childhood for that.
My dad always took a good swing at me.

0 0

I'm getting worried about getting older. My dad died when was only 42.
Then I chill when I remember getting murdered by a hоокеr isn't genetic.

0 0

My dad kept on warning everyone the titanic was gonna sink, but no one listened to him.
Finally, they had enough of him and kicked him out the theater.

0 0

My 5 y/old daughter told me no more Dad Jokes.
I told her that the only Dad Joke around here is You.

0 0

A little boy walks into the living room and catches his dad jerking off...
Kid yells "ewww!"
Dad says "oh whatever, you'll be doing this soon yourself."
"No I won't!" yells back the kid.
"Oh yes you will, my arm is getting tired."

0 0

I asked my amputee daughter if she could guess what we’re having for dinner tonight
She replied “i don’t know Dad, Im stumped”

0 0

Son in Iraq i killed 20 people.
Son: Dad you were a helicopter mechanic.
Dad: Never said I was a good one.

0 0

My girlfriend looks just like her mother when she does her makeup the right way
I could make myself look like my dad, but I don't have any vanishing cream

0 0

I want to lose my virginity just like my mom did
On prom night, to my dad.

0 0

What did my dad say when I wet the bed?
Urine trouble.

1 0

It's never okay to say to your adopted child "I'm not your real dad".
That's a faux pa.

0 0

Dad, why are there so many Chuck Norris jokes but no Bruce Lee jokes?
Dad: Because son, Bruce Lee was no joke.

0 0

My first memory occurred 9 months before I was born...
... I remember going to this party with my dad but then i went home with my mom.

0 0

Today my daughter asked me, "Dad, how do stars die?"
I replied , "Usually an overdose."

0 0