Potato jokes

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The caption under the most expensive vibrator in the sex shop: "It also makes great mashed potatoes!

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Potato jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes

What’s the difference between a sweet potato fresh out of the oven and a pig flying out a catapult?
One is a heated yam and the other is a yeeted ham

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Potato jokes

How does a potato win at Street Fighter?
By mashing the kick button.

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Potato jokes

Did you hear about the root vegetable farmer that got arrested?
He beet up his friend with a potato and didn’t carrot all.

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Potato jokes

What do you say when someone tells you French fries are cooked in France?
You say, “no they’re not, they’re cooked in Greece”.

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Potato jokes

What did the potato say to the other potato?
My love for you sprouts more and more every day!

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Potato jokes

What do you call a spud that always keeps its cool?
A medi-tater.

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Potato jokes

Why did the french fry win the race?
Because it was fast food.

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Potato jokes

What instrument does a spud play?
A “tuber.”

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Potato jokes

What do you call potatoes with right angles? Square roots.

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Potato jokes

How did the burger propose to the fry?
With an onion ring

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Potato jokes

What do you get after a potato rain storm?
Spuddles.

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Potato jokes

What do potatoes eat for breakfast?
Pota-toast with jelly.

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Potato jokes

What did the bank robber french fry say to the potato cop?
“Just fry and stop me!”

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Potato jokes Banker Jokes

Why couldn’t the potato get off the couch?
Because it was baked.

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Potato jokes

A woman goes into a shop and asks if they sell potato clocks. The assistant says “Sorry, we don’t. We have alarm clocks, wall clocks, wind-up clocks… But I’ve never even heard of a potato clock.” The woman says, “neither have I, but I start my new job at nine tomorrow morning so my husband said I should get a potato clock.”

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Potato jokes

Saw some crisps strolling down the road and offered them a lift. “No thanks”, they said, “we’re Walkers”.

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Potato jokes

Looking for potato puns? You can always count on me to chip in.

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Potato jokes

I bought the potato at a chip price. I hope it still tastes good.

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Potato jokes

My friend has a job at the potato chip factory. He’s a Lay-borer.

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Potato jokes

An hour before 5 in the morning is the best time to cook a sweet potato. Because it’s For a Yam!

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Potato jokes

“How was your day?” The steak asked the gloomy potato.
The potato replied, “It was tater-ible.”

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Potato jokes

A potato gave a gift to his girlfriend.
She said, “Aww, why are you so sweet?”
He said, “It’s just the way I yam.”

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Potato jokes

A baby potato is playing with a baby sweet potato in the playground. The sweet potato says to the potato, “I just found out I’m related to you.” The potato says, “No you’re are not!” The sweet potato says,”Yes, I yam.”

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Potato jokes

A restaurant put up a sign advertising their new ‘fат-free сhiрs’. When a health-conscious woman ordered some and received a bag of сhiрs dripping in oil she said, “hang on, those don’t look fат-free…”. “Yes they are”, replied the cook. “We’ve only charged you for the сhiрs. The fат is free!”

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Potato jokes Restaurant Jokes

An exercise for people who are out of shape: Begin with a five-pound potato bag in each hand. Extend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then relax. After a few weeks, move up to ten-pound potato bags. Then try 50-pound potato bags, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-pound potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.

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Potato jokes