Dirty jokes

What is the difference between a joystick and a man's d**k?
A joystick does its job.

1

Monday – a very, very, good day! The leader’s daughter lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her.
Tuesday – a very, very, good day! The leader's wife lost. We found her and all of us made sex with her.
Wednesday – a very, very, very, very, very, very, bad day! ... I lost! … Now they're looking for me.

1

Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period?
A. Finger painting.

1

My ex girlfriend has a tattoo of a shell on her inner thigh.
If you put your ear up to it... you can smell the ocean.

1

What said Adam to Eva at they’re first rendezvous?
Get back!
I have no idea how big it grows!

1

Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.

1

Three men are sitting at a campfire telling stories about their great endeavors.
The first man talked about how to sucked out the venom of a snake and sucked it up with 50 degree alcohol.
The second man called it a circus trick as he has gotten 3 gunshots towards the chest and he but the guns in half.
They looked at the third guy wanting to hear his story.
Only to see him stroking his cock with the glowing hot coals.

21

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbit?
Are you gonna eat that?

21

Kock, Knock
Who is there?
Suck, suck.
Suck, suck who?
After a long pause with a low voice:
My dick; dear!

21

What is the same with spreading butter on a toast and getting a woman to spread her legs?
It is possible with a credit card, but much easier with a knife.

1

Sometimes I wish I was a bird: I would fly over certain people and shit on their heads.

22

Nothing spreads easier than butter, except for yo mommas legs.

22

Само жената на Чърчил е пушила Winston оригинал

Само жената на Чърчил е пушила Winston оригинал

1

What's the only thing white girls swallow?
Starbucks.

23

If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.

23

One day President Trump's motorcade was heading to the Mexican border to see first hand progress on The Wall.
All of a sudden a naked lone figure was seen bent over on the side of the road.
Wanting to help the president ordered the motorcade to stop.
He got out and approached the figure and suddenly realized it was Nancy Pelosi.
She was naked with her wrists handcuffed to her ankles.
The president said,
"OMG Nancy what happened?"
She cried out that she was kidnapped by a bunch of people wearing MAGA hats and left to die!
The president said "Well I'm not going to let that happen" as he was unzipping his zipper.
He yelled out to the motorcade "OK boys the line starts behind me"

24

A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm.
He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"

24

What do you call a Russian prostitute who charges too much?
Vagisdear Disputin

0

What's the pink nub of flesh between your grandmother's breasts called?
Her clit

29