Dirty jokes

Dirty jokes

F_CK.
All I need, is U

Dad: Son, I think's it's time we talked about the birds and the bees
Johnny: NOO! When I was 6 you told me the Easter Bunny is fake. When I was 8, you told me Santa is fake. If your telling me adults don't really f*ck, I don't wanna hear it

One night on christmas eve, santa came down the chimney. He was putting toys under the tree for the good girls and boys of the house.
When he got the errie feeling that someone was staring at him.
He turned around and sure enough a lady in a nelgiee was looking at him.
When she noticed santa looking at her she said, "Santa can you stay, can yuo stay?"
Santa, "Hey, hey hey, me have to go. Have to deliever toys for good girls and boys."
So then she pulled down her negliee and showed santa her breast. "Santa, can you stay, can you stay?"
Santa, "Hey, hey, hey. Me got to go. Have to deliever toys to good girls and boys."
Then she took off everything and stood naked in front of santa and said, "Santa can you stay, can you stay?"
Santa, "Hey,hey, hey. Me have to stay. Can't go up the chimney this a way!"

Pain: When she says: "No babe yours is perfect, the big ones hurt" ...

The wife said to me last night...
"If vou turn the bedside lamp off I'll take it up the ass!"
In hindsight maybe I should have waited for the bulb to cool down first...?

If you're having a shit day, remember that at least you didn't go on bbc news With your dildo on your bookcase...

If you're having a shit day, remember that at least you didn't go on bbc news With your dildo on your bookcase...

Hello guys this is a gay test
If you rate this kickass ur not gay, vice versa.
I wanna c how many ppl r gay

Q: What's long and hard and has cum in it?
A: Cucumber, dirty people.

Two old ladies are walking through a museum and got separated.
When they ran into each other later the first old lady said to the second, "Oh my! Did you see that statue of the naked man back there?"
The second old lady replied, "Yes! I was absolutely shocked! How can they display such a thing! My gosh the penis on it was so large!"
Where upon the first old lady accidentally blurted out, "...Yeah, and cold, too!"

"7x3 is not equal to 1x21" was Snow White thinking