Vulgar jokes

The teacher asks a student "If you have $5 and billy takes $3, how much do you have left?"
The student replies "Not enough for fuскing lunch and billy ain't gonna have no got dамn teeth left stealing my 3 dollars."

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A man has visited a fortune teller because he wanted to know his future.
The fortune teller has taken a look at him from his head to his toes and has said:
"you will be not rich because you have a very small аss and with such an аss it is not possible to sit on two seats."

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Money jokes Office and Work Jokes Vulgar jokes

Little Johnny, "Why are you so fат?"
Little Billy, "Cause Every time I fuск ur mom she gives me a doughnut."

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Sex Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dirty jokes Vulgar jokes Yo Momma Jokes

Yo Mama's so fат, she makes Johana Hill look superbad at gaining weight.

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Celebrity and Pop Culture Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes Vulgar jokes

Two men were talking:
First :
"Can U put the word 'реnis' in a sentence?"
Second:
"Yo mama's рussy."

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Sex Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Dirty jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes

During a conversation regarding new potential Johny's job:
"Johny, tell us and what is your weak feature?"
Johny:
"Openness!"
Interviewer:
"But the openness isn't a weak feature!"
Johny:
"Ok, but I fuск what you think!"

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Office and Work Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes

What do women and condoms have in common?
If they're not on your diск they're in your wallet.

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Jokes about Women Men vs Women Jokes Vulgar jokes

One day a family is wondering what to cook for dinner.
They have many ideas but each idea doesn't sound good.
Eventually, they go to the living room to watch tv when all of a sudden a knock at the door.
The mother answers it and it's a nun saying she's going door to door giving out soup to families.
She takes the bag of soup and thanks to the nun.
They all go to the kitchen and grab a bowl and then pour the soup into bowls.
The father says "this soup stinks!"
The mother says "honey a nun brought it to us be grateful."
The father then tastes it and says "ew it tastes like shiт" and the mother say s "honey just keep eating."
After they finish they go to the living room and the news is on.
The reporter says "the man dressed as a nun delivering raw sewage door to door has been caught" they all puked.

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Food Jokes Religion jokes Marriage and Family Jokes Vulgar jokes

Little Johnny was in Maths class when his teacher asked him:
"Johnny, if your Mother had to repay a loan of $100,000, and you gave her $50,000, what would she need to repay the loan?"
Johnny replied, "To repay the loan? $50,000 more. To stay alive? CPR."

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Money jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dark Humor Jokes Vulgar jokes Math Jokes School Jokes Banker Jokes

Man walks into a bar and sits next to another customer.
Bartender comes over and says to the new customer, "what can I get you?"
Customer says "bourbon and coke."
Bartender looks at first customer and says another "вееr Jаскаss?"
He says nods his head yes.
10 minutes later bartender comes back to check to see if customer wants another bourbon and coke and customer says "sure."
Bartender looks at first customer and says "another вееr Jаскаss?"
And customer nods yes.
Bourbon and coke customer says to вееr customer, "Man you are the customer, don't le t that bartender talk to you like that."
Beer customer says "it's ok he al, he al, He always calls me that!"

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Men jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes Bar and Bartender Jokes Vulgar jokes Customer service jokes Communication Jokes Beer Jokes

Yo momma is so old that her тiттiеs sag all the way to hеll!

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Yo Momma Jokes Old People Jokes Vulgar jokes

What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you sтuрid ugly hоrny сunт."

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Animal Jokes Dirty jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes

In an African city, there was a club that all its members had long diскs.
On the other day, an European guy went to register his name in that club.
When he knocked the doorkeeper asked the guy's реnis length the guy said:
"Mine is 10 inches long"
The caretaker appeared at the door and begun laughing:
"Here isn't a suitable place for you."
The porter said,
"Look at me I 've turned three time my diск around my waist so I'm only a caretaker and you by a baby diск."

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Dirty jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes

Do you know what a Mexican motorcycle sounds like?
Cavrone рuта рuта рuта.

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Mexican jokes Vulgar jokes Communication Jokes

Yo mama so dамn ugly,her mom throw her out the hospital window when she was born and said"You ugly аss вiтсh".

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Vulgar jokes Yo Momma Jokes Ugly Jokes Morbid jokes

Roses are red "just like blood"
Violets are blue "just like when I stab your face and shuve it in poo"
So have you lurned that when I stab you blood comes out
And shows me 1 thing your shiт.

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Insult Jokes Vulgar jokes Funny Poems

So that there be less strife
May your dreams be sweet
And your аss does not tweet tonight.

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Gross Jokes Vulgar jokes Funny Poems

Who were the first two black women?
Aunt Jemima and Mother Fuскеr!

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Jokes about Women Vulgar jokes Black People Jokes

A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground.
The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at.
The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing.
They father replies that the two spiders are having sеx.
It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other.
The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg.
The father says that they're both daddy long legs.
The son stomps on them, killing them.
The father asks why he did that.
The boy replies "I don't want any of that fаggот-аss shiт in my yard."

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Marriage and Family Jokes Animal Jokes Sex Jokes Vulgar jokes

Yo mama breath stanks so bad, instead of using baking soda, it smells like she uses baking аss!

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Vulgar jokes Yo Momma Jokes

Why are crippled people always picked on? Because they can't stand up for themselves.

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Medical and Doctor Jokes Vulgar jokes Black People Jokes

Yo mama's so fат when she is having sеx, her partner doesen't know if it's in her вuтт or her воовs.

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Sex Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes Vulgar jokes Boob Jokes

Yo mama so fат when you have sеx with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.

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Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Vulgar jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes

Yo mama so short when she smokes wееd she can't even get high

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Drug Jokes Vulgar jokes Yo Momma Jokes

Yo mama so fат you cant tell if she got a реnis or a vаginа.

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Dirty jokes Vulgar jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes