Vulgar jokes

Roses are red "just like blood"
Violets are blue "just like when I stab your face and shuve it in poo"
So have you lurned that when I stab you blood comes out
And shows me 1 thing your shit.

6

Yo mama so damn ugly,her mom throw her out the hospital window when she was born and said"You ugly ass bitch".

17

Yo mama so fat you cant tell if she got a penis or a vagina.

19

Yo mama so fat when you have sex with her you have to slap her stomach and ride the wave in.

21

Why are crippled people always picked on? Because they can't stand up for themselves.

22

Yo mama breath stanks so bad, instead of using baking soda, it smells like she uses baking ass!

23

A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground.
The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at.
The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing.
They father replies that the two spiders are having sex.
It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other.
The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg.
The father says that they're both daddy long legs.
The son stomps on them, killing them.
The father asks why he did that.
The boy replies "I don't want any of that faggot-ass shit in my yard."

25

Who were the first two black women?
Aunt Jemima and Mother Fucker!

16

So that there be less strife
May your dreams be sweet
And your ass does not tweet tonight.

38

Do you know what a Mexican motorcycle sounds like?
Cavrone puta puta puta.

46

In an African city, there was a club that all its members had long dicks.
On the other day, an European guy went to register his name in that club.
When he knocked the doorkeeper asked the guy's penis length the guy said:
"Mine is 10 inches long"
The caretaker appeared at the door and begun laughing:
"Here isn't a suitable place for you."
The porter said,
"Look at me I 've turned three time my dick around my waist so I'm only a caretaker and you by a baby dick."

49

What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."

52

Yo mama's so fat when she is having sex, her partner doesen't know if it's in her butt or her boobs.

25

Yo momma is so old that her titties sag all the way to hell!

50

Man walks into a bar and sits next to another customer.
Bartender comes over and says to the new customer, "what can I get you?"
Customer says "bourbon and coke."
Bartender looks at first customer and says another "beer Jackass?"
He says nods his head yes.
10 minutes later bartender comes back to check to see if customer wants another bourbon and coke and customer says "sure."
Bartender looks at first customer and says "another beer Jackass?"
And customer nods yes.
Bourbon and coke customer says to beer customer, "Man you are the customer, don't le t that bartender talk to you like that."
Beer customer says "it's ok he al, he al, He always calls me that!"

28

Little Johnny was in Maths class when his teacher asked him:
"Johnny, if your Mother had to repay a loan of $100,000, and you gave her $50,000, what would she need to repay the loan?"
Johnny replied, "To repay the loan? $50,000 more. To stay alive? CPR."

48

One day a family is wondering what to cook for dinner.
They have many ideas but each idea doesn't sound good.
Eventually, they go to the living room to watch tv when all of a sudden a knock at the door.
The mother answers it and it's a nun saying she's going door to door giving out soup to families.
She takes the bag of soup and thanks to the nun.
They all go to the kitchen and grab a bowl and then pour the soup into bowls.
The father says "this soup stinks!"
The mother says "honey a nun brought it to us be grateful."
The father then tastes it and says "ew it tastes like shit" and the mother say s "honey just keep eating."
After they finish they go to the living room and the news is on.
The reporter says "the man dressed as a nun delivering raw sewage door to door has been caught" they all puked.

51

What do women and condoms have in common?
If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet.

34

During a conversation regarding new potential Johny's job:
"Johny, tell us and what is your weak feature?"
Johny:
"Openness!"
Interviewer:
"But the openness isn't a weak feature!"
Johny:
"Ok, but I fuck what you think!"

48