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Rude Jokes
I pulled up next to a woman driver at the traffic lights today and shouted at her, “Hey! Don’t you know how to use your fcuking mirrors?”
“Yes, of course I do!” she snapped
I replied, “Well, try using one to put some make-up on before you go out in public, you ugly cunt!”
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Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
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Какво да правите
- Приятелката ми пуши
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use a lubricant.
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I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?
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If I'd shot you sooner, I'd be out of jail by now.
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Момиче пазарува в магазина и на касата:
Жена пазарувала в супера. Докато оставяла нещата на лентата един пияница се приближил
The Bachelor's Life
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk
A woman went shopping. She walks to checkout counter and then the salesman packs all her groceries: milk
A woman is at a grocery store. She goes to the clerk to purchase her groceries. The clerk looks at her items and sees a carton of eggs
La chica de la lasaña y el cajero gracioso
Una chica entra en un supermercado y compra lo siguiente:
Single?
Uma mulher passava as compras no caixa de supermercado percebeu que um bêbado examinava detalhadamente seus itens de compra: * 2 caixas de leite integral * 1 dúzia de ovos * 1 litro de suco de laranja * 1 alface americana * 1 kg de café; e * 1 pacote de bacon fatiado. Enquanto o caixa registrava
En kvinna kommer in i affären och köper lite saker
Een vrouw ging naar de winkel waar ze de volgende spullen kocht : * 1 liter melk * 1 doos eieren * 1 liter fruitsap * 1 pak koffie * 1 ons ham * 1 doos Cup-a-Soup Terwijl ze haar...
A girl walks into a supermarket and buys the following: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 apple 1 banana 1 orange 1 plum 1 peach 1 grapefruit 1 tomato...
En pige lægger sine varer op ved kassen: 1 tomat
En pige vader ind i et supermarked
A woman walks into a supermarket and buys:
1 bar of soap
1 toothbrush
1 tube of toothpaste
1 loaf of bread
1 pint of milk
1 single serving of cereal
1 single serving frozen dinner
1 can of Soup For One
1 16oz can of Miller Lite
The guy at the checkout looks at her and says, "Single, are you?"
The woman smiles sweetly and replies, "How did you guess?"
He replies, “Because you’re ugly.”
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Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot them?
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Actually, I don't think you're dyslexic; just really, really stupid.
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Момиче пазарува в магазина и на касата:
Жена пазарувала в супера. Докато оставяла нещата на лентата един пияница се приближил
The Bachelor's Life
A woman was paying for some items in a supermarket - a pint of milk
A woman walks into a supermarket and buys: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 single serving of cereal 1 single serving frozen dinner 1 can of Soup For...
A woman is at a grocery store. She goes to the clerk to purchase her groceries. The clerk looks at her items and sees a carton of eggs
La chica de la lasaña y el cajero gracioso
Una chica entra en un supermercado y compra lo siguiente:
Single?
Uma mulher passava as compras no caixa de supermercado percebeu que um bêbado examinava detalhadamente seus itens de compra: * 2 caixas de leite integral * 1 dúzia de ovos * 1 litro de suco de laranja * 1 alface americana * 1 kg de café; e * 1 pacote de bacon fatiado. Enquanto o caixa registrava
En kvinna kommer in i affären och köper lite saker
Een vrouw ging naar de winkel waar ze de volgende spullen kocht : * 1 liter melk * 1 doos eieren * 1 liter fruitsap * 1 pak koffie * 1 ons ham * 1 doos Cup-a-Soup Terwijl ze haar...
A girl walks into a supermarket and buys the following: 1 bar of soap 1 toothbrush 1 tube of toothpaste 1 loaf of bread 1 pint of milk 1 apple 1 banana 1 orange 1 plum 1 peach 1 grapefruit 1 tomato...
En pige lægger sine varer op ved kassen: 1 tomat
En pige vader ind i et supermarked
A woman went shopping.
She walks to checkout counter and then the salesman packs all her groceries: milk, cheese, orange juice, half of bread, bar of soap, toothpaste...
All of a sudden the salesman asks her:
"You're single, aren't you?"
A bit surprised woman smiles and answers:
"That's right, but how did you guessed that?"
"Because you're so ugly."
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Hi there, I'm a human being! What are you?
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Did something bad happen to you or are you just naturally ugly.
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What's the height of conceit? Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
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I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
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I don't think you act stupid, I'm sure it's the real thing.
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The doctor finished examining my wife and beckoned me to a private room.
“The bad news is that I found an ugly growth on your wife’s neck”
“It’s called a head. I feel sorry for you.”
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Sit down, give your mind a rest - it obviously needs it.
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Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
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You're like a fat stump, I'm always falling over you.
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Canadians are more polite when they are being rude than Americans are when they are being friendly.
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