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Вицове за Семейния живот
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Familienwitze, Familien Witze,...
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Οικογενειακα-ανεκδοτα, Οικογεν...
семејни
Evlilik Fıkraları
Анекдоти про Подружнє життя, А...
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Грижи и проблеми
Скъпи
- Дорогой
- Скъпи
- Querido
Girl: When we get married
- Любий
Bir gün iki sevgili konuşuyormuş: Kız:hayatım evlendiğimizde sıkıntılarını ve dertlerini benimle paylaşmalısın. Oğlan:ama canım benim en ufak bir derdim ya da sıkıntım yokki. Kız:aşkım daha...
Girl to fiancé: "When we’re married I want to share all your troubles and worries."
Fiancé: ‘But I don’t have any troubles and worries.’
Girl: ‘I know, but we’re not married yet.’
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Сине
Vater zum Sohn: "Kind
Der Vater sagt zum Sohn: Sohn
Father: “Son, you were adopted.”.
Son: “What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!”
Father: “We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.”
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Роденден
Συμβουλή...
Най-добрият начин да запомниш рожденият ден на жена си е да го забравиш веднъж
Лучший способ запомнить день рождения своей жены - это один раз забыть его...
Fødselsdag Hvad er den bedste måde til at huske din kones fødselsdag? – Prøv at glemme den en gang
Pensamientos sobre el matrimonio Había una vez un hombre que dijo: "Yo no sabía lo que era la verdadera felicidad hasta que me casé
Hvad er den absolut bedste måde
Cea mai bună metodă de a ţine minte ziua de naştere a soţiei tale este să o uiţi o dată!
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
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Жената има последната дума във всеки спор.
В спора последната дума има жената.
Kvinnan får alltid sista ordet. Vad än mannen säger efter detta innebär att han startar ett nytt gräl.
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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Тате
Между баща и син:
- Е
- Ти
От коли одружишся
- Nu am aflat ce e adevărata fericire decît după ce m-am însurat... Dar era deja prea tîrziu!
Dwóch kumpli przy piwie: - Podobno niedawno się ożeniłeś? - Tak. - Nooo
Jeg visste ikke hva ekte glede var før jeg ble gift. Da var det for sent.
Отец - сыну: - Вот женишься и тогда поймешь
I never knew the meaning of true happiness until I got married but then it was too late.
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Συμβαίνει παντού
Татко
Син пита баща си:
- Папа
Sohn: "Stimmt es
Син пита баща си:
El hijo le pregunta al padre:
Young Son: Is it true
Little Johnny: Dad
- C'est vrai papa
O filho curioso pergunta para o pai: — É verdade que em algumas partes da África o homem não conhece sua esposa até casar com ela? O pai responde cabisbaixo: — Aqui também é assim!
- är det verkligen sant pappa att i vissa länder så känner inte mannen sin fru när de gifter sig? - Nej min son! Inte i vissa länder utan i alla länder!
— Тату
Een man en zijn zoontje lopen over straat. Vraagt het jongetje aan zijn vader “Papa
– Är det sant
Pepíček se ptá: „Tatínku
- E adevarat
- Papa
Syn pyta ojca: - Czy to prawda
- Μπαμπά άκουσα ότι σε κάποιες χώρες της Αφρικής ο άντρας δεν γνωρίζει την γυναίκα που θα παντρευτεί μέχρι την ημέρα του γάμου τους. - Αυτό παιδί μου συμβαίνει σε όλες τις χώρες.
O filho mais novo pergunta ao pai: — Pai
Синот го прашува таткото: Вистина ли е дека во некои области на Африка мажот не ја познава жената сè додека не ја ожени? Таткото: Така ти е тоа
A little boy says:
‘Dad, I’ve heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her.’
‘Son,’ says the dad. ‘That happens everywhere.’
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A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong.
"All right children, let's take another example," she said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?"
Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile, he blurts out, "You'd be his wife!"
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След като пробвах да сваля сутиена на жена ми цели 20 минути
After spending 20 minutes trying to get my wife's вrа off, I decided to give up,
I wish I'd never put it on now.
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Чудя се как ли са се борили със скуката моите родители преди да измислят интернета.
Что делали наши родители
Ich habe meine Eltern gefragt
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet.
I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.
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Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed everything down and cleaned thoroughly.
Today I’m putting a cockroach in the bathroom.
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When a married man says "I'll think about it", what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.
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Wife: "I have to tell you something. I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad."
Wife: "No, you are not."
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Според статистиката
Женените мъже живеят по-дълго от неженените.
Verheiratete Männer leben länger als unverheiratete
They say that married men live the longest. It's ironic
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are more willing to die.
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Генко кара колата. Жена му все мърмори:
A man is driving with his wife at his side and his mother-in-law in the backseat.
The women just won’t leave him alone.
His mother-in-law says, "You’re driving too fast!"
His wife says, "Stay more to the left."
After ten mixed orders, the man turns to his wife and asks, "Who’s driving this car – you or your mother?"
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Las dos personas del matrimonio
Бракът е низ от комрпромиси
Casnicia este o relatie oficiala a doua persoane
A házasság olyan kapcsolat
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!
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Έχασα την γυναίκα μου!
Στο σούπερ μάρκετ
Мъж се приближава към хубаво момиче в супермаркет.
Je faisais mes courses avec ma femme et je ne la trouvais plus quand j'ai vu cette femme.
Un uomo al supermercato non riesce a trovare la moglie e
In a supermarket Ivan lost sight of his wife. He comes up to a nice young lady and asks
Ein Mann spricht eine Frau im Supermarkt an: "Wissen Sie
En man går fram till en storbystad blond snygging på ett varuhus. - Ursäkta
Un gars aborde une jolie jeune femme dans un supermarché. Surprise
A guy walks up to a beautiful woman in a shopping mall. "Excuse me" he says "But I've lost my wife here somewhere and I can't find her. Could you please help me?" "What do you need me to do?" asks...
Adam
A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?
"Why do you want to talk to me?" she asked puzzled.
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."
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Бигамия означава да имаш една жена повече
- Што е бигамија? - Една жена повеќе. - А
Q: If Bigamy is having one wife too much
La bigamie consiste à avoir une femme de trop; la monogamie aussi.
Bigamy is having one wife too many, but so is monogamy.
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"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirтy, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."
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