Police, Policemen, Cops and Law Enforcement jokes
An American lawyer invited a Czech friend to stay with him in his mountain cabin. Early in the morning, the lawyer and his Czech friend went out to pick berries for their morning breakfast. As they were picking blueberries, along came two big Bears - a male and a female.
The lawyer, seeing the two bears, climbed a tree.
His friend wasn't so lucky and the male bear caught him and swallowed him whole.
The lawyer drove his car to town as fast has he could to get a policeman. The policeman took his gun and ran to the berry patch with the lawyer.
Sure enough, the two bears were still there. "He's in that one!" said the lawyer, pointing to the male.
The policeman looked at the bears, took careful aim with his gun, and shot the FEMALE.
"What did you do that for!" shouted the lawyer, "I said he was in the other bear!"
"Exactly," answered the policeman. "Would you believe a lawyer who told you that the Czech was in the Male?"
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter.
A cop pulled up and said,
"I've got to take you in, pal.
You're obviously drunk."
Our wasted friend asked,
"Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"
"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."
Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said,
"Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."