Aviation Jokes

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When the plane’s pilot has a sense of humor
Когато пилотът на самолета има чувство за хумор Кога пилотот на авионот има чувство за хумор Cuando el piloto del avión tiene sentido del humor Когда у пилота самолёта есть чувство юмора Wenn der Pilot des Flugzeugs Humor hat Quand le pilote de l’avion a de l’humour Όταν ο πιλότος του αεροπλάνου έχει χιούμορ Quando il pilota dell’aereo ha senso dell’umorismo Uçak pilotunun espri anlayışı olduğunda Коли пілот літака має почуття гумору Quando o piloto do avião tem sentido de humor Kiedy pilot samolotu ma poczucie humoru När flygplanets pilot har humor Wanneer de piloot van het vliegtuig gevoel voor humor heeft Når flyets pilot har humor Når flyets pilot har humor Kun lentokoneen pilotilla on huumorintajua Amikor a repülőgép pilótájának van humora Când pilotul avionului are simțul umorului Když má pilot letadla smysl pro humor Kai lėktuvo pilotas turi humoro jausmą Kad lidmašīnas pilotam ir humora izjūta Kad pilot aviona ima smisao za humor
Aviation Jokes
URGENT! Does anyone know which airline this is? I can’t see any markings
СПЕШНО! Някой знае ли коя е тази авиокомпания? Не виждам отличителни знаци ИТНО! Некој знае ли која е оваа авиокомпанија? Не гледам никакви ознаки ¡URGENTE! ¿Alguien sabe qué aerolínea es esta? No veo ninguna marca distintiva СРОЧНО! Кто-нибудь знает, какая это авиакомпания? Не вижу никаких опознавательных знаков DRINGEND! Weiß jemand, welche Fluggesellschaft das ist? Ich sehe keine Kennzeichen URGENT! Quelqu’un sait de quelle compagnie aérienne il s’agit ? Je ne vois aucun signe distinctif ΕΠΕΙΓΟΝ! Ξέρει κανείς ποια αεροπορική εταιρεία είναι αυτή; Δεν βλέπω διακριτικά σημάδια URGENTE! Qualcuno sa quale compagnia aerea sia questa? Non vedo segni distintivi ACİL! Bilen var mı bu hangi hava yolu şirketi? Hiçbir işaret göremiyorum ТЕРМІНОВО! Хтось знає, яка це авіакомпанія? Не бачу жодних позначок URGENTE! Alguém sabe qual é esta companhia aérea? Não vejo sinais distintivos PILNE! Czy ktoś wie, jaka to linia lotnicza? Nie widzę żadnych oznaczeń AKUT! Vet någon vilket flygbolag detta är? Jag ser inga kännetecken DRINGEND! Weet iemand welke luchtvaartmaatschappij dit is? Ik zie geen markeringen HASTER! Er der nogen, der ved, hvilket flyselskab dette er? Jeg kan ikke se nogen kendetegn HASTER! Er det noen som vet hvilket flyselskap dette er? Jeg ser ingen kjennetegn KIIRR! Tietääkö joku mikä lentoyhtiö tämä on? En näe mitään tunnuksia SÜRGŐS! Tudja valaki, melyik légitársaság ez? Nem látok semmilyen jelzést URGENT! Știe cineva care este această companie aeriană? Nu văd semne distinctive NALÉHAVÉ! Ví někdo, která je to letecká společnost? Nevidím žádné označení SKUBIAI! Ar kas žino, kokia tai aviakompanija? Nematčiau jokių ženklų STEIDZAMI! Vai kāds zina, kura ir šī aviokompānija? Es neredzu nekādus atpazīšanas zīmes HITNO! Zna li netko koja je ovo aviokompanija? Ne vidim nikakve oznake
Aviation Jokes Boob Jokes
Turkish Airlines: Fast Track! Fast Checkout! Fast Landing!
Турски авиолинии: Fast Track! Fast Checkout! Fast Landing! Turkish Airlines: Acceso rápido. Salida rápida. Aterrizaje... muy rápido. Turkish Airlines: Быстрый проход! Быстрый выход! Быстрая посадка! Turkish Airlines: Fast Track! Express-Checkout! Schnell-Landung! Turkish Airlines : Accès rapide ! Paiement express ! Atterrissage express ! Turkish Airlines: Corsia veloce! Uscita rapida! Atterraggio immediato! Turkish Airlines: Acesso rápido. Checkout rápido. Pouso turbo!
Aviation Jokes
There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have it,but you don’t have it because you are poor! The poor child answers:You’re right it’s very nice but i’have one thing that you don’t have! The Rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline and all the other games that can be done outdoors and tells ti the pope child: looks that beautiful swimming pool I have is very big you don’t have it because you are poor! and the poor child says: Beautiful is really beautiful! But one thing that you don’t have. So the rich child feels bad he says: Wait but I’m rich, how is it possible? I have everything i want because I’m rich. Why you have something that I don’t have? And the poor child says : I have cancer!
Aviation Jokes
Have any of you guys heard the classic airplane jokes? here’s a good example…
A farmer, a doctor, and a terrorist are on a plane. An engine fails, and they are going to crash, so the pilot asks everyone to throw out some items. The farmer threw out his apple harvest, the doctor threw out medical supplies, and the terrorist, (not needing a bomb apperently) through out his briefcase of bombs. They still crashed, and they started walking to the nearest town. They passed a boy who was running. “why are you running?”
"My dad got hit by a shiny red object and now he’s bleeding!"
They three of them decide it’s best to keep quiet, and continue. They then passed a crying girl, who said that her brother had been killed by a scalpel from heaven. They said nothing and continued. Finally, they see a boy laughing so much he is in tears. They ask him, “What’s so funny?”
“Grandma farted and the house blew up!”
Aviation Jokes
Самолетът стои на пистата и се подготвя за излитане. One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get underway. The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot... A sala de espera estava lotada de passageiros para o vôo 171, da Gaivota's Airlines, que já estava meia hora atrasado. As aeromoças tentavam tranqüilizar os passageiros, dizendo que a equipe de vôo... All'aeroporto di Milano Malpensa, in una lunga fila di check-in di un volo Milano - New York, durante l'attesa, un passeggero nota una persona, con uniforme da pilota e con il tipico bastone bianco... Felszállás előtt a repülő utasai csodálkozva látják, hogy a kapitány egy vakvezető kutyával, fekete szemüvegben, fehér bottal botladozik a pilótafülke felé. Először mindenki arra gondol, hogy... Yolcular uçağın hemen yanı başında, bavullarını gösteriyorlar. Uçak şirketinin minibüsü yanaşmış, içinden kaptan pilot ile yardımcısı inmiş. Kaptan pilotun elinde bir beyaz baston, kolunda üç... A repülőgép lépcsőjén két pilóta egyenruhás ember lépdel fel, fekete szemüvegben, fehér bottal. Az utasok röhögése és szörnyülködése közepette elfoglalják helyüket a pilótafülkében. Végül az utasok... Na odlétací ploše letiště stojí letadlo a cestující se dívají na piloty, které vede slepecký pes, mají černé brýle a slepecké hole. „To je asi nějaká sranda,” šeptají si mezi sebou. Ale najednou... Two blind pilots enter a plane. They have sunglasses and white sticks. As the plane starts to move, the passengers are uncomfortable. The plane gains speed, but it stays on the ground. The... Σε μια από τις τακτικές πτήσεις μια αεροπορικής εταιρίας, οι επιβάτες έχουν ήδη επιβιβαστεί στο σκάφος και περιμένουν τους πιλότους να μπουν για να απογειωθούν. Τελικά ο κυβερνήτης και ο...
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