Aviation jokes, Flying jokes, Pilot jokes, Airplane jokes

What can read 105 stories in ten seconds?
New Yorkers

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Have i told you the joke about the airplane, ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head

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I can tell you a airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head

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Why did the plane crash?
Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.

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There is a rich child and a poor child. The rich child invites the poor child to his house and shows him all the toys and tells him: Look at what a beautiful radio-controlled airplane I have it,but you don’t have it because you are poor! The poor child answers:You’re right it’s very nice but i’have one thing that you don’t have! The Rich child then invites him into the garden and shows him the swimming pool, the trampoline and all the other games that can be done outdoors and tells ti the pope child: looks that beautiful swimming pool I have is very big you don’t have it because you are poor! and the poor child says: Beautiful is really beautiful! But one thing that you don’t have. So the rich child feels bad he says: Wait but I’m rich, how is it possible? I have everything i want because I’m rich. Why you have something that I don’t have? And the poor child says : I have cancer!

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Steven hawkings not dead he is just in airplane mode

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The last time I had flying lessons I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn…

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I don’t understand the plane crash at 9/11. my dad was a great pilot!

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Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers, He took out 83 stories in one go.

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I don’t like making jokes about 9/11, my grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew

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The other day a squirrel asked me for a job, I asked him what jobs did you have previously. Calmly he answered," I am a pilot, I can pick it up from here and pile it over there, I also can fly a sign!!!"
" To bad, this is a nut cannery, and we’re 100% automated, we don’t need anyone at this time, sorry."
" No worries, I’m totally nuts anyway, guess I’ll fly a sign across town, don’t have bus fare!!!"

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Two people are sitting in a sky scraper.
P1: Hey, what wifi are you connected to? The company wifi is horrible.
P2: Airplane wifi

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Viggie tickles

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I’m old enough to remember innocent times when the worst headline was plane hijackers flying into buildings.

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What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?
Answer: Hair Force One!

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Unaware that Indianapolis is on Eastern Standard Time and Chicago on Central Standard Time, Bob inquired at the Indianapolis airport about a plane to Chicago.
"The next flight leaves at 1:00 p. M.," a ticket agent said,
"And arrives in Chicago at 1:01 p. M."
"Would you repeat that, please?" Bob asked.
The agent did so and then inquired, "Do you want a reservation?"
"No," said Bob, "But I think I'll hang around and watch that thing take off."

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What kind of sandwiches do they serve in the airline lounge?
Club Sandwiches

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Arriving at the airport my buddy looked visibly shaken. I asked him, "Are you okay? What's the matter?"
Looking bewildered, he replied, "It'll pass. Every time I have to fly, I get a terminal illness."

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One of the airlines recently introduced a special half-fare rate for wives accompanying their husbands on business trips. Anticipating some valuable testimonials, the publicity department of the airline sent out letters to all the wives of businessmen who used the special rates, asking how they enjoyed their trip.
Responses are still pouring in from angry wives asking, "What trip?"

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