Skip to main content

  • Home
  • Categories
  • Popular
  • Funny pictures
  • Most Popular Jokes
  • Latest Jokes
  • Jokes about Women
  • Religion jokes
  • Office and Work Jokes
  • Gross Jokes
  • Sports Jokes
  • School Jokes
  • Marriage and Family Jokes
  • Kids Jokes
  • Medical and Doctor Jokes
  • Dark Humor Jokes
  • Blonde Jokes
  • Animal Jokes
  • Dirty jokes
  • Chuck Norris Jokes
  • Donald Trump Jokes
  • Drinking and Drunk Jokes
  • Putin Jokes
  • Sex Jokes
  • Christmas Jokes
  • Jewish Jokes
  • Police Officer Jokes
  • Weed Jokes
  • Old People Jokes
  • Mother-in-Law Jokes
  • Masturbation jokes
  • Political Jokes
  • Vulgar jokes
  • Genie jokes
  • Aviation Jokes
  • Nurse jokes
  • Psychology and Psychiatry Jokes
  • Knock-knock jokes
  • Scottish Jokes
  • Soccer Jokes
  • Lawyer Jokes
  • Dad Jokes
  • Gynecology Jokes
  • Rude Jokes
Вицове за Мастурбация и Самозадоволяване Masturbation jokes Onaniewitze Chistes de masturbación Анекдоты про мастурбацию Blagues sur la masturbation Barzellette sulla Masturbazione Ανέκδοτα για αυνανισμό Вицеви за мастурбација Mastürbasyon Fıkraları Жарти про мастурбацію Piadas sobre Masturbação Dowcipy o masturbacji Onanivitsar Masturbatiemoppen Onanivittigheder Onanivitser Masturbointivitsit Maszturbációs Viccek Glume despre Masturbare Vtipy o Masturbaci Anekdotai apie Masturbaciją Joki par Masturbāciju Vicevi o Masturbaciji
My Jokes Edit Profile Logout
  1. Home
  2. Masturbation jokes

Masturbation jokes

Most popular in this category
When you buy batteries from the chinese and the vibrator lasts as long as your husband
1 0
0
Когато купуваш батерии от китайците и вибраторът издръжда толкова дълго, колкото и на съпруга ти Quando compri le batterie dai cinesi e il vibratore dura quanto tuo marito
Dirty jokes Masturbation jokes
When someone walks in and you have to pretend like you weren't just masturbating
1 0
0
Когато някой влезе и ти се налага да се преструваш, че не мастурбираш
Masturbation jokes
13 year old me realizing | don't need a girlfriend
1 0
0
13-годишният аз осъзнавайки, че нямам нужда от приятелка
Masturbation jokes
When a woman gets a vibrator; its seen as a bit 0f naughty fun: But when a man orders a 240 vault Fuckmaster Pro 5000 blow up latex doll with 6 speed pulsating pussy; elasticized anus with non drip...
1 0
0
Когато една жена си купи bибpatop — това се смята за малко палаво забавление. Но когато един мъж си поръча „Fuckmaster Pro 5000“ — надуваема латексова кукла с 220 волта захранване, шестскоростна...
Dirty jokes Masturbation jokes
Testing out the highest setting on your vibrator
1 0
0
Когато тестваш най-високата скорост на вибратора си
Masturbation jokes
Adult cinema looking for vegetarian cleaners
1 0
0
Кино за възрастни търси чистачки-вегетарианки Кино за возрасни бара чистачки-вегетаријанки Cine para adultos busca limpiadoras vegetarianas Кино для взрослых ищет уборщиц-вегетарианок Erwachsenenkino sucht vegetarische Putzfrauen Cinéma pour adultes cherche femmes de ménage végétariennes Σινεμά ενηλίκων αναζητά καθαρίστριες χορτοφάγους Cinema per adulti cerca addette alle pulizie vegetariane Yetişkin sineması vejetaryen temizlikçi arıyor Кіно для дорослих шукає прибиральниць-вегетаріанок Cinema para adultos procura empregadas de limpeza vegetarianas Kino dla dorosłych szuka sprzątaczek-wegetarianek Vuxenbio söker vegetariska städare Bioscoop voor volwassenen zoekt vegetarische schoonmaaksters Voksenbiograf søger vegetariske rengøringsdamer Voksenkino søker vegetariske renholdere Aikuisten elokuvateatteri etsii kasvissyöjä siivoojia Felnőttmozi vegetáriánus takarítónőket keres Cinema pentru adulți caută femei de serviciu vegetariene Kino pro dospělé hledá vegetariánské uklízečky Suaugusiųjų kino teatras ieško vegetarių valytojų Pieaugušo kino meklē veģetāriešu apkopējas Kino za odrasle traži čistačice-vegetarijanke
Dirty jokes Masturbation jokes Vegan and Vegetarian Jokes
When your child asks you why, when you lie down, the bed makes the sound of a hair clipper
1 0
0
Когато детето те попита, защо като си легнеш, от леглото ти се чува шум на машинката за подстригване Кога детето те праша, зошто кога ќе легнеш, од креветот ти се слуша бучава од машинката за шишање Cuando tu hijo te pregunta por qué, cuando te acuestas, se oye el sonido de una máquina de cortar el pelo desde la cama Когда ребёнок спрашивает тебя, почему, когда ты ложишься, из кровати слышен звук машинки для стрижки Wenn dein Kind dich fragt, warum aus dem Bett ein Geräusch wie von einer Haarschneidemaschine kommt, wenn du dich hinlegst Quand ton enfant te demande pourquoi, quand tu te couches, le lit fait le bruit d'une tondeuse à cheveux Όταν το παιδί σου σε ρωτάει γιατί, όταν ξαπλώνεις, ακούγεται από το κρεβάτι ο ήχος της κουρευτικής μηχανής Quando tuo figlio ti chiede perché, quando ti sdrai, dal letto si sente il rumore di una macchinetta per capelli Çocuğun sana neden yatağa uzandığında yataktan saç kesme makinesi sesi geldiğini sorduğunda Коли дитина питає тебе, чому, коли ти лягаєш, з ліжка чути звук машинки для стрижки Quando o teu filho te pergunta porque é que, quando te deitas, se ouve da cama o som de uma máquina de cortar cabelo Kiedy dziecko pyta cię, dlaczego gdy się kładziesz, z łóżka słychać dźwięk maszynki do strzyżenia När ditt barn frågar dig varför det låter som en hårtrimmer från sängen när du lägger dig Wanneer je kind je vraagt waarom, als je gaat liggen, het bed klinkt als een tondeuse Når dit barn spørger dig, hvorfor sengen lyder som en hårtrimmer, når du lægger dig Når barnet ditt spør deg hvorfor sengen høres ut som en hårklipper når du legger deg ned Kun lapsesi kysyy sinulta, miksi sängystä kuuluu hiustenleikkuukoneen ääni, kun menet makuulle Amikor a gyereked megkérdezi, miért hallatszik az ágyból hajnyíró hang, amikor lefekszel Când copilul tău te întreabă de ce, când te culci, se aude din pat zgomot de mașină de tuns Když se tě dítě zeptá, proč je z postele slyšet zvuk strojku na vlasy, když si lehneš Kai tavo vaikas paklausia, kodėl atsigulus iš lovos girdisi plaukų kirpimo mašinėlės garsas Kad tavs bērns tev jautā, kāpēc, kad tu apgulies, no gultas nāk matu mašīnas skaņa Kad ti dijete postavi pitanje zašto se iz kreveta čuje zvuk mašinice za šišanje kad legneš
Kids Jokes Parent Jokes Masturbation jokes
As i watch her masterbate i can't help but wonder why she's not better at playing video games
1 0
0
Докато я гледам как mactуpбиpa, не мога да не се учудя защо не е по-добра в видеоигри
Masturbation jokes
When you regularly jump to light speed
1 0
0
Когато редовно преминаваш на светлинна скорост Кога редовно преминуваш на светлосна брзина Cuando saltas regularmente a la velocidad de la luz Когда ты регулярно переходишь на скорость света Wenn du regelmäßig auf Lichtgeschwindigkeit springst Quand tu passes régulièrement à la vitesse de la lumière Όταν περνάς τακτικά σε ταχύτητα φωτός Quando passi regolarmente alla velocità della luce Işık hızına düzenli olarak geçtiğinde Коли ти регулярно переходиш на швидкість світла Quando saltas regularmente para a velocidade da luz Kiedy regularnie przechodzisz na prędkość światła När du regelbundet hoppar till ljushastighet Wanneer je regelmatig naar de lichtsnelheid springt Når du regelmæssigt hopper til lysets hastighed Når du regelmessig hopper til lyshastighet Kun säännöllisesti hyppäät valonnopeuteen Amikor rendszeresen fénysebességre váltasz Când treci regulat la viteza luminii Když pravidelně přecházíš na rychlost světla Kai reguliariai pereini į šviesos greitį Kad regulāri pārej uz gaismas ātrumu Kad redovito prelaziš na brzinu svjetlosti
Star Wars Jokes Masturbation jokes
When you're trying to have a little fun under the blankets But your cat keeps trying to catch your hand
1 0
0
Когато се опитваш да се забавляваш малко под одеялото, но котката ти продължава да се опитва да хване ръката ти Wenn du versuchst, ein bisschen Spaß unter der Decke zu haben Aber deine Katze versucht immer wieder, deine Hand zu fangen
Masturbation jokes Cat jokes
When you order a vibrator online and the charging cable is shorter than you expected
1 0
0
Когато си поръчаш bибpatop онлайн и зарядното е по-късо, отколкото очакваше Кога ќе нарачаш bибpatop онлајн, а кабелот за полнење е покус од очекуваното Cuando pides un vibrador por internet y el cable de carga es más corto de lo que esperabas Когда заказываешь bибpatop онлайн, а зарядный кабель оказывается короче, чем ты думала Wenn du online einen Viвrатоr bestellst und das Ladekabel kürzer ist, als du dachtest Quand tu commandes un vibromasseur en ligne et que le câble de recharge est plus court que prévu Όταν παραγγέλνεις δονητή online και το καλώδιο φόρτισης είναι πιο κοντό απ’ ό,τι περίμενες Quando ordini un vibratore online e il cavo di ricarica è più corto del previsto Çevrim içi bir vibratör sipariş ettiğinde ve şarj kablosu beklediğinden daha kısa olduğunda Коли замовляєш вібратор онлайн, а зарядний кабель виявляється коротшим, ніж очікувала Quando encomendas um vibrador online e o cabo de carregamento é mais curto do que esperavas Kiedy zamawiasz wibrator online, a kabel do ładowania okazuje się krótszy niż się spodziewałaś När du beställer en viвrатоr online och laddningskabeln är kortare än du förväntat dig Wanneer je online een viвrатоr bestelt en de oplaadkabel korter is dan je had verwacht Når du bestiller en viвrатоr online, og opladerkablet er kortere, end du havde regnet med Når du bestiller en viвrатоr på nett og ladekabelen er kortere enn du trodde Kun tilaat vibraattorin netistä ja latausjohto on lyhyempi kuin odotit Amikor rendelsz egy vibrátort online, és a töltőkábel rövidebb, mint vártad Când comanzi un viвrатоr online și cablul de încărcare e mai scurt decât te așteptai Když si objednáš vibrátor online a nabíjecí kabel je kratší, než jsi čekala Kai užsisakai vibratorių internetu ir įkrovimo laidas yra trumpesnis, nei tikėjaisi Kad pasūti vibratoru internetā un uzlādes vads ir īsāks, nekā gaidīji Kad naručiš viвrатоr online i kabel za punjenje je kraći nego što si očekivala
Dirty jokes Masturbation jokes
Sorry if I accidentally liked your pics.
My phone shakes a lot when I masturbate
1 0
0
Masturbation jokes
When she buys a 3D printer
1 0
0
Когато тя си купи 3D принтер Кога таа ќе си купи 3D печатач Cuando ella se compra una impresora 3D Когда она купит 3D-принтер Wenn sie sich einen 3D-Drucker kauft Quand elle s’achète une imprimante 3D Όταν αγοράσει έναν 3D εκτυπωτή Quando si compra una stampante 3D O bir 3D yazıcı aldığında Коли вона купить 3D-принтер Quando ela compra uma impressora 3D Kiedy ona kupi drukarkę 3D När hon köper en 3D-skrivare Wanneer zij een 3D-printer koopt Når hun køber en 3D-printer Når hun kjøper en 3D-printer Kun hän ostaa 3D-tulostimen Amikor vesz egy 3D nyomtatót Când își cumpără o imprimantă 3D Když si koupí 3D tiskárnu Kai ji nusiperka 3D spausdintuvą Kad viņa nopērk 3D printeri Kad ona kupi 3D printer
Technology Jokes Dirty jokes Masturbation jokes
When you find out Роrnhuв now offers a 30-day free trial
1 0
0
Когато разбереш, че Роrnhuв вече предлага 30-дневен безплатен пробен период
Dirty jokes Masturbation jokes Porn jokes
I was just watching some beach volleyball. After 10 minutes of play, I injured my wrist. I hope I'll be better by the weekend.
1 0
0
Току-що гледах плажен волейбол. След 10 минути игра си контузих китката. Надявам се да се оправя до уикенда. Habe mir gerade Beachvolleyball angeschaut. Nach 10 Minuten Spielzeit gab es schon eine Handgelenksverletzung. Ich hoffe, bis zum Wochenende geht's mir wieder besser.
Sports Jokes Masturbation jokes
When a relationship ends. It looks the same, but it's not.  Women vs Men
1 0
0
След раздялата. Изглежда едно и също, но не е
Masturbation jokes Men vs Women Jokes Dirty jokes
A little boy asks his mom, “Is it bad to have a penis?”  She says, “no, why?”  ‘Because dad is upstairs trying to pull his off.”
1 0
0
Малко момче пита майка си: - Мамо, лошо ли е да имаш пeниc? - Не мило, защо реши така?! - Ами тате се опитва да си го откъсне горе в банята
Masturbation jokes Dirty jokes
Parkside
1 0
0
Masturbation jokes
I got sacked from PC World today. A guy came in the store and asked me what was the best thing for finding your ancestors.
I said “Probably a shovel.”
0 0
0
Masturbation jokes
I was standing in another long line at the airport and my mind slipped into the idle gear… I mused, “What does it mean to “pre-board?” Do you get on board before you get on board?
0 0
0
Masturbation jokes
Some American guy was boasting to me about the size of his Country.
“You can board a train in Texas, and 24 hours later, you could still BE in Texas!” he said.
“Yes” I said. “We’ve got trains like that over here, too.”
0 0
0
Masturbation jokes
A struggling artist gets his first painting in to an art gallery.
An art critic approaches him, “Would you like to hear my professional opinion on your painting?”
- Sure.
- It’s pretty much worthless.
- I don’t mind, you can tell me anyway.
0 0
0
Masturbation jokes
“Come on in,” I said to the neighbour at the front door.
“I’d rather not,” she said, “I’ve got dirтy feet.”
“That doesn’t matter,” I said. “You can keep your shoes on.”
0 0
0
Masturbation jokes
My wife said to me that the Home Alone films are so unrealistic…
I replied, “Well, they aren’t gonna show him putting a роrnо on and having a wаnк, are they?”
0 0
0
Masturbation jokes
My girlfriend came and sat next to me on the sofa looking miserable.
“Cheer up,” I said.
“Oh I’m OK,” she sighed, “just a bit sad.”
“You’re fab,” I said.
“Thanks,” she said.
“You’re mine,” I said.
“I know silly!” she chuckled.
“I love you,” I said.
“Aww!” she gushed, “that’s so lovely.
Marry me, I said.
She squealed with joy and stood up and started clapping like a seal: she bellowed. Yes! Yes! Yes!
I looked up at her and said, Yes what?
Yes, I will marry you! she beamed.
Fuck off! I said. Here, have a Love Heart.
0 0
0
Masturbation jokes
When you first meet her, she says she’s “bi”, then later you realise she meant ” polar”..
0 0
0
Masturbation jokes
A young lady walks into a supermarket and on her way round she sees the chap who’d had his wicked way with her the previous evening, after they had met in a club.
He was stacking washing powder boxes on the shelves.
“You lying ваsтаrd!” she shouts,” last night you told me you were a stunt pilot!”
“No,” he says, “I told you I was a member of the Ariel display team.”
0 0
0
Masturbation jokes
Three stages of masturbation in one picture
Three stages of маsтurватiоn in one picture
1 0
0
Masturbation jokes
Cashier: Wow, haha, big plans tonight? Me: Sharon, just shut up and do your job
1 0
0
Jokes about Women Masturbation jokes
Маsтurватiоn Men: Women:
1 0
0
Mactуpбaция: Мьжете : Жените:
Masturbation jokes
  • Next
Privacy and Policy Contact Us