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Вицове за Евреи
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Jewish Jokes
Jewish Jokes
What's the difference between a bullet and a Jew?
A bullet actually comes out of its chamber.
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What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
Santa comes down the chimney.
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Въпрос:
Pourquoi les juifs ont-ils de grands nez ?
Чому у євреїв ніс великий? Та тому що повітря безкоштовне.
- Dlaczego Żydzi mają takie duże nosy? - Bo powietrze jest za darmo...
Varför har judar så stora näsor? – Eftersom luft är gratis.
Store næser Hvorfor har jøder så store næser? – Fordi luft er gratis
De ce au evreii nasul mare? Pentru că aerul e pe gratis.
Proč mají židi velký nosy? Vzduch je zdarma.
Why do Jews have so big noses?
Because the air is free.
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A young black Jew asks his father, "Dad, am I more black or more Jew?"...
"Why do you ask?" asks the Dad.
The boy says,
"Well, a guy at school has a bike for sale for $150 and I can't decide if I want to haggle him down to $100, or just steal it."
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Why do old Jews have outhouses?
Because their afraid of the showers.
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What was so bad about being a black Jew?
You had to sit in the back of the oven.
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Еврейски момък ме покани на среща. Попита ме за номера ми.
Имах среща с еврейско девойче.
Излизах с еврейка на среща и тя ме попита за номера ми. Аз и казах че ние имаме имена ...
I met a Jewish girl today and she asked for my number I told her we use names here
ATTENTION HUMOUR TRÈS NOIR! Veuillez ne pas crié au retour d'Hitler après cette blague : Tu est toujours là? T'a du courage alors voilà mon histoire: Un jour j'ai eu un rencard avec une juive
J'ai eu un rencard avec une juive et elle m'a demandé mon numéro... Je lui ai répondu que nous
A while ago I had a blind date with a Jewish girl
She asked me for my number.
I told her that we usually use names.
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- Что сказал еврей-педофил маленькой девочке? - Ты купишь мне конфетку?
Was sagt ein pädophiler Jude zu einem kleinen Jungen? Möchtest du ein Bonbon………. Kaufen?
- Τί λέει ένας Εβραίος παιδεραστής σε ένα πιτσιρίκι; - Αγοράκι θα μου αγοράσεις ένα γλειφιτζούρι;
Vad säger den judiske pedofilen för något? Finns det några barn som skulle vilja köpa lite godis?
Har du hørt om den pedofile jøden som traff to smågutter? - Vil dere kjøpe litt godteri...?
Židovský pedofil potká v parku malou holčičku a povídá jí: "Holčičko
What do Jewish pedophiles say?
“Hey kid, want to buy some candy?”
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A waiter walks up to a table full of Jewish women dining
And says "ladies, is anything ok?"
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Why haven't I ever met a full blooded jew?
All of the ones I've met have just been Jew-ish
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Еврейски момък ме покани на среща. Попита ме за номера ми.
Имах среща с еврейско девойче.
Излизах с еврейка на среща и тя ме попита за номера ми. Аз и казах че ние имаме имена ...
A while ago I had a blind date with a Jewish girl She asked me for my number. I told her that we usually use names.
ATTENTION HUMOUR TRÈS NOIR! Veuillez ne pas crié au retour d'Hitler après cette blague : Tu est toujours là? T'a du courage alors voilà mon histoire: Un jour j'ai eu un rencard avec une juive
J'ai eu un rencard avec une juive et elle m'a demandé mon numéro... Je lui ai répondu que nous
I met a Jewish girl today and she asked for my number
I told her we use names here
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A teacher asks the class, “What are some examples of flammable objects?” and the Jewish student raises his hand.
The teacher replies, “Very good! Any other examples?”
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How do they play Pokemon Go in Gaza Strip?
They grab a round rock from the ground and say:
"Pick-a-jew"!
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How do you get a Jew to win a race?
Drop a quarter at the finish line.
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No matter who wins the presidential election, it will be historic.
We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first Canadian president, or the last president.
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Why are circumsized pe-nises so popular among Jewish girls?
They love anything that's 15% off
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A Jew, a German and an American walked into a small room. The Jew never came out.
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The 3 shortest books ever written are:
Polish Wisdom
Jewish Business Ethics
Black Guys I Met While Yachting
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An Arab and a Jew stand in front of a Hitler statue.
The Jew spits on the statue.
Arab: why did you do that?
Jew: because he killed half my people.
The Arab spits on the statue as well.
Jew: why did you do that?
Arab: because he didn't kill the other half.
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