Jewish Jokes

Why haven't I ever met a full blooded jew?
All of the ones I've met have just been Jew-ish

4

I met a Jewish girl today and she asked for my number
I told her we use names here

5

A teacher asks the class, “What are some examples of flammable objects?” and the Jewish student raises his hand.
The teacher replies, “Very good! Any other examples?”

6

How do you get a Jew to win a race?
Drop a quarter at the finish line.

25

No matter who wins the presidential election, it will be historic.
We'll either have the first female president, the first Jewish president, the first Canadian president, or the last president.

1

Why are circumsized pe-nises so popular among Jewish girls?
They love anything that's 15% off

34

A Jew, a German and an American walked into a small room. The Jew never came out.

25

The 3 shortest books ever written are:
Polish Wisdom
Jewish Business Ethics
Black Guys I Met While Yachting

0

An Arab and a Jew stand in front of a Hitler statue.
The Jew spits on the statue.
Arab: why did you do that?
Jew: because he killed half my people.
The Arab spits on the statue as well.
Jew: why did you do that?
Arab: because he didn't kill the other half.

0