Jokes

Yo mama so heavy that when she went in the elevator as soon as one foot goes in falls strait to the bottom.

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A farmer was bragging. "I've got 350 sheep."
"That's a lot of sheep," said another farmer.
"And I've got 500 chickens," bragged the farmer.
"That's a lot of chickens," answered the second farmer.
"And 40 bulls," added the farmer.
The other farmer replied, "Boy!
That IS a lot of bull."

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Yo Mama so ugly, that even titanium broke apart when it saw her.

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A young man wants to be left something in his aunt’s will, so every day he goes round and takes her poodles for a walk.
When she finally dies, she does indeed remember the kindness of her nephew – and leaves him the poodles.

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Two elderly gin-soaked colonels are sitting at the bar of their club.
‘Lend me a tenner for a month, old boy,’ says one.
‘What does a month-old boy want a tenner for?’ asks the other.

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What's red and dances all around?
A baby on a barbecue

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‘Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.’
Rodney Dangerfield

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Chuck Norris likes steel wool... it's his loofah.

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The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.

1

You cannot escape the power of Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris doesn't moon walk, the moon Chuck-Norris Walks.

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Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.

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Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can punch a hole through thin air.

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Mortal Kombat is not difficult enough for Chuck Norris, so he got Immortal Kombat.

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Chuck norris can throw a rock at you... looking the other way.

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Bacons' favorite smell is Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris has his own protien powder.
The ingriedients include: cocoa powder, stem cells, dodo egg protien, enriched uranium, LSD, and Vin Diesel.

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Chuck Norris beat the Hulk in an arm wreslting contest... with his leg.

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