Newest jokes

With a very seductive voice the woman asked her husband, "Have you ever seen Twenty Dollars all crumpled up?"

"No," said her husband.
She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top 3 or 4 buttons of her blouse, and slowly reached down into the cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra, and pulled out a crumpled Twenty Dollar bill.
He took the crumpled Twenty Dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly.
She then asked him, "Have you ever seen Fifty Dollars all crumpled up?"
"Uh... no, I haven't," he said, with an anxious tone in his voice.
She gave him another sexy little smile, pulled up her skirt, and seductively reached into her tight, sheer panties... and pulled out a crumpled Fifty Dollar bill.
He took the crumpled Fifty Dollar bill, and started breathing quicker with anticipation.
"Now," as she dropped her panties "have you ever seen $50,000 Dollars all crumpled up?"
He said "No!, trying to hide his arousal.
She said ...... "Check the garage."

There are always two ways to fix any problem in Russia. One realistic, and one fantastical.

a UFO arrives, green aliens jump out and fix it all.
They do it ourselves.

Rational arguments don't usually work on religious people.

Otherwise there would be no religious people.