Elephant asks a camel:''why do you have two boobs on your back?"
Camel says to Elephant:"Thats a funny question from someone with a dick on his face."
Two rednecks were walking along when they saw a dog licking his balls. One said:
- I wish I could do that!
The other said:
- You dumbass he would bite you!
Two rednecks were sitting in a bar discussing their favorite sex positions. One of them says,
"I think rodeo would have to my favorite".
The other one says,
"I've never heard of that one, what is it?"
So the first guy says,
"You sit on your wife's back with your hands on her boobs and say, 'these feel just like your sister's' and then you have to try and stay on for 8 seconds".
Redneck told wife - When are you going to Britain for your training, dear?
Wife - Next week darling. What gift should I bring for you from Britain?
Redneck - Bring cute sexy british blonde for me.
15 days later wife returns from Britain. Redneck
- Where is cute sexy british girl, you promised me?
Wife - wait for 9 month darling.
Redneck: Help! My buddy fell out of the deer stand I think; I think he might be dead.
911: Sir, please calm down; can you make sure he's not alive?
Redneck: Yea, just a sec. *gunshot* Ok, he's dead, now what?
*Girl is crying*
Dad: Why ya' crying?
Girl: My boyfriend dumped me!
Dad (Grabs shotgun): I'll be back...
*A while later, dad comes back*
Girl: What the hell! Why did you kill him!
Dad: I didn't!
Girl: Where did you go, then?
Dad: To get you ice cream of course.
Girl: Why the hell did you bring the shot gun!?
Dad: So I could get it for free!
Guy: Can I buy you a drink?
Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs.
Guy: Do they swell?
Girl: No. They spread.
FIRETRUCK GAME
Boy: Let's play the firetruck game.
Girl: How do you play?
Boy: I run my fingers up your leg, and you say "redlight" when you want me to stop.
Girl: Okay :)
*Few seconds later*
Girl: REDLIGHT!!
Boy: Firetrucks don't stop for redlights