Cat jokes

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Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever.
Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.

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I think my cat might be a communist
He won't shut up about Mao.

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How is a trans 4-year old like a vegan cat?
We all know who’s making that decision

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A cat walks into a bar.
The bartender says,
"What'll you have?"
The cat says,
"A shot of ruм."
The bartender pours the cat his drink.
The cat slowly pushes the shot off the table.
"Another."

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I asked a librarian for a book about Pavlov's dog and Schroedinger's cat.
She said it rang a веll, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

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Where would you park your camel?
The Camelot.
PS Вооzе helped with this and now I'm laughing alone in my apartment
Edit: Went to class, came back, saw this. Me and my cat are thoroughly pleased.

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When I was five, my Dad put Snowballs in the blender to make a slushie...
I miss snowballs, she was a good cat.

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My kids were hungry so I made them burgers from scratch.
They got really upset and started to cry.
Scratch is a sтuрid name for a cat anyway..

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I went to the library and asked for a book on Pavlov's dog and Shrodinger's Cat
The librarian said "That rings a веll but I don't know if it's here or not."

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This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat.
It was obvious that she thought her cat could understand her.
I came to my house and told my dog. We laughed a lot.

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its the cat's birthday

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Lеsвiаns eat what ?

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What do you get when you cross a duck and a cat?
A Chinese restaurant's newest entree!

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Schrodinger's Cat recently went on a сriме spree
He's wanted dead and alive

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They found a cat on mars...
A live cat was found roaming the surface of Mars. Scientists planned to have the Mars Rover capture the animal to study it but unfortunately while attempting to capture the feline, Curiosity killed the cat.

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A man walks into a library
And asks the librarian at the info desk if they have any books on Pavlov's dog or Schrodinger's cat. The librarian thinks for a moment before replying "It rings a веll but I'm not sure whether it's there or not."

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What do you call a boy cat sleeping on a bed?
Himalayan.
*Be gentle. First post on here.

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What keyboard macro is used to get a cat on a computer?
Tab E

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