Cat jokes

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Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever.
Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.

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I think my cat might be a communist
He won't shut up about Mao.

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How is a trans 4-year old like a vegan cat?
We all know who’s making that decision

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A cat walks into a bar.
The bartender says,
"What'll you have?"
The cat says,
"A shot of ruм."
The bartender pours the cat his drink.
The cat slowly pushes the shot off the table.
"Another."

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I asked a librarian for a book about Pavlov's dog and Schroedinger's cat.
She said it rang a веll, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

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Where would you park your camel?
The Camelot.
PS Вооzе helped with this and now I'm laughing alone in my apartment
Edit: Went to class, came back, saw this. Me and my cat are thoroughly pleased.

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When I was five, my Dad put Snowballs in the blender to make a slushie...
I miss snowballs, she was a good cat.

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My kids were hungry so I made them burgers from scratch.
They got really upset and started to cry.
Scratch is a sтuрid name for a cat anyway..

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I went to the library and asked for a book on Pavlov's dog and Shrodinger's Cat
The librarian said "That rings a веll but I don't know if it's here or not."

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This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat.
It was obvious that she thought her cat could understand her.
I came to my house and told my dog. We laughed a lot.

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What do you get when you cross a duck and a cat?
A Chinese restaurant's newest entree!

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Schrodinger's Cat recently went on a сriме spree
He's wanted dead and alive

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A man walks into a library
And asks the librarian at the info desk if they have any books on Pavlov's dog or Schrodinger's cat. The librarian thinks for a moment before replying "It rings a веll but I'm not sure whether it's there or not."

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What do you call a boy cat sleeping on a bed?
Himalayan.
*Be gentle. First post on here.

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What keyboard macro is used to get a cat on a computer?
Tab E

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What did the owner say to his cat after she dressed as a dog?
Naughty dog
(Not-a dog)

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What did the millennial say at a safari when a big cat jumped out in front of him?
Ok puma

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What do you call a cat on the computer?
A hacker

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