Cat jokes

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How did the alcoholic cat live for so long?
He had nine livers.

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I bought a can of tuna cat food, but there was catfish meat inside.
I got catfish catfish cat fish.

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What do you call a woman who sleeps with cat-like humanoid aliens?
Thundercats Но!

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What do you get when you're driving down the road and throw a cat out the window?
Kitty litter.

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Grumpy cat is literally now
A dead meme.

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I just saw 'Captain Marvel'. I like how there were lots of subtle 1990's references.
Like how they made the cat with CGI from the 1990's.

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We get a rovot on the surface of an alien planet and the first thing we do is roll over an adorable fuzz ball. Its True.
Curiosity killed the cat.

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I'm a bit of a wizard when it comes to talking to animals.
I have a dog called woof. I asked him it's name, and it said woof. I have a cat called meow, because it said meow when I asked her name. And I have a parrot called Whatsyourname.

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You know what kind of jokes I hate? Cat jokes!
Just kitten.

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I heard that the cat with the worlds longest tail is 7 feet...
But I think that’s just a tall tail.

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A cat was looking at me funny...
It was staring meow-t.

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I can't watch Netflix with my cat...
Because she paws it.

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Why did Stevie Wonder run away from the black cat crossing the street under a ladder?
He was very Superstitious.

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I was so ugly and smelly as a kid
That when I played in the sandbox, the cat would try to bury me!

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What did Katy Perry name her cat?
Kitty Purry

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A cat and dog stand next to a broken case. Who did it?
The Russians.

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Why did the dog get stuck in the cat door?
He was a little husky

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A cat entered a barn
A cat entered a barn:
Meooow!
All the mice hid. The cat broke the silence again:
Woof, woof!
All the mice came out of hiding. The moral: It's always good to study a second language.

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