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Dirty jokes

Newest jokes in this category

All those curves, and me with no brakes.

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Dirty jokes

Actually, a couple of weeks ago, I failed to perform sexually. I'm not going to go into detail, but suffice it to say, I 'arrived early.' And my girlfriend said, 'Don't worry, that' happens to a lot of guys.' I said, 'There's two things the matter with that. Firstly, who are these "a lot of guys," and secondly, if it's happening to more than one of us, don't you think it could be your fault?'

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Dirty jokes

I just went through a break up, actually. I'm not worried about meeting someone else or being lonely. I'm just worried about all the pictures. But my mom always told me, you know, ever since I was a little girl, 'Never put your face in them.'

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Dirty jokes

What is a gаy person's favorite desert on a hot day? Аss cream cones.

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Dirty jokes

What is better than a cold Bud? A warm bush.

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Dirty jokes

A recent scientific study has found pregnant women who use vibrators are 90% more likely to have a child who stutters.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes

Slept like a baby last night. I kept waking up every few hours to suск on some тiттiеs.

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Dirty jokes

Boy: MOM MOM MOM!!! I sold my soul for aids
Mom: Boy what is wrong with you??
Boy:....... I got aids

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Dirty jokes

Got a really nasty injury today from a mouse trap I didn’t see. That’s the last time I ever do push-ups in the nudе.

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Dirty jokes

Many fishermen call themselves master fishermen. What should a fisherman not be known for being masters of?
Fishermen can call themselves masters of tying, lining, and hooking, but never baiting. Master baiters are looked down upon.

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Dirty jokes

Some men think that they can convert gаy women, make them straight. I couldn't do that. I could make a straight woman gаy, though. I got that going for me.

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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes Men jokes

What happens when batman sees catwoman? The dark knight rises

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Dirty jokes

Toaster: I want you inside me.
Toast: That's Hot.

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Dirty jokes

A man goes to the toilet. Another man rushes into the same cubicle sits on the guys knee and starts crapping everywhere.
The guy looks and sees the guy sat on the toilet and says:
"Oh I am ever so sorry about that I didn't see you."
The guy sat on the toilet says:
"Don't worry. I pulled your trousers up before you could сrар on me."

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Dirty jokes Men jokes

Yo hо, Но! And a bottle of ruм? Yar!

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Dirty jokes Drinking and Drunk Jokes

I know it doesn't look like a lot to you ladies, but believe me, we do a lot of сrар for that: fight wars, build bridges, pay cover....

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Dirty jokes

Can you fight the power... in my pants?

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Dirty jokes

I wonder if people with foot fetishes consider athletes foot an STD?

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Dirty jokes

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

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Dirty jokes

There was a man who couldn't talk properly and had a few issues in his head. One day he decided to go and by a bun for his lunch so he went to the bakery and said "I need a вuм, a вuм for lunch." so he got a bun and went to a hardware store to get a bucket "I need a f*cket, a f*cket to hold some water." The man then decide to go to the pet shop to by a cocker spaniel dog he said "i want a cocknstrokeit, a cocknstrokeit dog." As he was messed in the head he decided not to give it a name. When he was walking home with his cocknstrokeit, his f*cket and his вuм, his dog ran away and he said to the guy next to him, "Hold my вuм and f*cket, while i grab my cocknstrokeit.

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Dirty jokes Men jokes