Drug Jokes

Newest jokes in this category

You: Say “addicted” after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you’re obsessed with candy you are…?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you’re obsessed with drugs you are…?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted… laughs
(It’s supposed to sound like “A diск did”)

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Drug Jokes

Q: Why is the roach clip called a roach clip?
A: Because рот holder was taken

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Drug Jokes

Q: What do you call a stoners wife?
A: Mississippi

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Drug Jokes

Q: What do you call a bunch of mexican stoners?
A: Baked Beans.

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Drug Jokes

Q: Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie?
A: He was too far out, man!

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Drug Jokes

Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly?

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Drug Jokes

Evils of Marijuana
A certain college professor was known for getting off topic during lectures
His favorite off-topic subject was "the evils of marijuana".
One day into his lecture he started talking about wееd,
"Used regularly," he explained,"рот can cause psychic disorientation, sterility, cancer and castration!"
Now wait a minute, professor," interrupted a student. "Castration? Now that's absurd!"
"Yes young man, it's sadly true," replied the professor smugly. "Just suppose your girlfriend gets the munchies!"

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Drug Jokes School Jokes

Bags of Weed
A Jamaican walks into a bank with a 25kg bag of marijuana and hands it over to the cashier...
Shocked, the cashier asks..'What's this for?'
The Rastafarian replies..'Me here to open a joint account'

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Drug Jokes Banker Jokes

Rabbit sits on a bank of the sea and smokes wееd, little fish sees him and asks him: rabbit, what are you doing?, -I am smoking wееd.
- But why?
- Because it makes me feel great!
- Nice, can i smoke with you please?
- Sure, why not!
- But how do I smoke?
- Just inhale few puffs, keep it in your gills for a while and you will feel awesome.
Fish really inhales few puffs, says bye to the rabbit and swims away. She got really high and thought that everything is awesome in the sea. Suddenly, big blue whale sees her. He says: Hi little fish, where did you get so high?
- With a rabbit.
- Cool, he is my old friend! Where is he?
- He is up there on the bank of the sea.
- Bingo!
And whale showes out from the sea in a front of he rabitt and says: Hi rabbit!
And poor rabbit jumps in the air drops out the joint and starts to scream obviously terrified:
"Exhale fish, exhale."

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Drug Jokes Banker Jokes