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Political Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Ever wonder why all the oil wells are in Texas and the dip sticks in Washington, DC?
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Political Jokes
If Hilary wins the election I wonder if she’ll keep the same desk that Monica used to go under.
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Political Jokes
Can’t believe what a dangerous place the world has become recently. Just the other day I went into the toilets of a McDonalds and headbutted someone.
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Political Jokes
Donald Trump had several foreign wives.
There are indeed jobs Americans won’t do…
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Barack Obama has told the BBC that failure to effect gun control has been the biggest regret of his Presidency.
Abraham Lincoln and JFK will be nodding up in heaven.
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Why don't you remove those barriers to imports? It will ease my inflation and the benefits will trickle down.
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Political Jokes
It’s a real shame that Barrack Obama recently had to give a speech stood behind bullet proof glass. Just because he’s black doesn’t mean he’s gonna shoot anybody.
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Political Jokes
"Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards.
If you disgrace yourself you can always write a book." -- Ronald Reagan
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Shocking information has just been discovered that North Korea is developing weapons of mass destruction and we need to invade them.
…. Oh wait, false alarm, they don’t have any oil.
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Can’t believe how many things are made by the Chinese these days. Even babies come from the vachina.
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Barrack Obama has recently agreed to help the Vatican target whistle-blowers. Any altar
Boys reporting child abuse will now face indefinite detention.
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We’ve been conditioned to think that only politicians can solve our problems. At some point, perhaps one day we will actually wake up and recognize that that it was those politicians who actually created our problems in the first place.
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.
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Political Jokes
Edward Hale, while chaplain of the U. S. Senate, was asked,
"Do you pray for the senators?"
He quickly replied, "No. After getting to know the senators, I pray for the people."
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Political Jokes
Why does Donald Trump prefer E. T. to illegal immigrants?
Because E. T. eventually went home!
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Getting a job as an airline pilot is really difficult, especially if your name is Mr G. Hadd.
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If Catholics are really against abortion then why do they hate gаy people? Gаy people never have abortions.
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Political Jokes
Did you hear about the Islamic terrorist who was arrested in Liverpool the other day?
His name was Ayaluf Roh-Bin Kaahs.
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Political Jokes
A mid-level executive was so frustrated at being passed over for promotion year after year, that, in frustration, he went to a brain-transplant center in the hope of raising his I. Q. 20 points.
After a battery of physical and psychological tests, the center's director told him that he was an acceptable candidate.
"That's great!" the executive said. "But I understand that this procedure can be really expensive."
"Yes, sir, it can," the director replied. "An ounce of accountant's brain for example, costs one thousand dollars; an ounce of an economist's brain costs two thousand; an ounce of a corporate president's is forty-five thousand. An ounce of a politicians brain is seventy-five thousand dollars."
"Seventy-five thousand dollars for an ounce of a politicians brain? Why on earth is that?"
"Do you have any idea," the director asked,
"How many politicians we would have to кill?"
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Why is it that people who own guns are considered a danger to society but it’s perfectly acceptable for someone to own a meat clever and a human-sized freezer?
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Political Jokes
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