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Technology Jokes

Newest jokes in this category
Blogger Воотy Call... Number:
Unless you give me your number, today's entry will be about poor customer service and my cats. Again.
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Technology Jokes
Blogger Воотy Call... Offline:
Will you be my offline permalink?
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Technology Jokes
Programming %#$*@#!!
What is the first programming language you learn when studying computer science? Profanity
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Technology Jokes
Geek Воотy Call... RAM:
I have a lot of RAM in me. A lot.
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Technology Jokes
Robot Воотy Call... Lost:
Do you have a map? I just keep getting lost in your eyes-even though I am programmed with a fully functioning GPS.
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Technology Jokes
Robot Воотy Call... Angel:
Am I dead, Angel? Because this must be Heaven. Of course, I am a machine and therefore do not experience death.
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Technology Jokes
Robot Воотy Call... Phaser:
If you were a phaser, you would be set on "stunning." And I would set mine to "кill" because my own survival is my top priority.
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Technology Jokes
Robot Воотy Call... Attraction:
You must be a magnet, because you are attracting me. Perhaps it is because I am made entirely of metal.
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Technology Jokes
Robot Воотy Call... Beauty:
You are so beautiful you give the sun reason to shine. Of course, the sun shines by burning hydrogen into helium in its core.
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Technology Jokes
Robot Воотy Call... Lips:
My lips are registered weapons. They shoot deadly laser beams.
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Technology Jokes
Robot Воотy Call... Astrology:
What is your sign? Mine is "Property of NASA."
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Technology Jokes
Robot Воотy Call... Machinery:
I am a sеx machine. No, I mean that literally.
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Technology Jokes
Robot Воотy Call... Drop:
Pardon me, I think I may have dropped something. Oh, it was my jaw! Please reconnect it with these bolts.
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Technology Jokes
Robot Воотy Call... Off:
I am feeling a little off today. How about turning me on? The switch is on the back of my neck.
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Technology Jokes
Robot Воотy Call... Real:
My intelligence may be artificial, but the attraction is real, baby.
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Technology Jokes
Robot Воотy Call... Hot:
Is it hot in here, or is it just me? Wait, that is me. Please remain while I change my coolant.
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Technology Jokes
Robot Воотy Call... Roomba:
You remind me of a Roomba I used to date years ago. May I sample some of your suскing power for comparison?
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Technology Jokes
Jesus and Sатаn are having a conversation...
Jesus and Sатаn were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering.
Finally God said, "Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge who does the better job."
So Sатаn and Jesus sat down at the keyboards and typed away. They moused. They did spreadsheets. They wrote reports. They sent faxes. They sent e-mail. They sent out e-mail with attachments. They downloaded. They did some genealogy reports. They made cards. They did every known job. But ten minutes before their time was up, lightning suddenly flashed across the sky, thunder rolled, the rain poured and, of course, the electricity went off.
Satan stared at his blank screen and screamed every curse word known in the underworld. Jesus just sighed. The electricity finally flickered back on and each of them restarted their computers.
Satan started searching frantically, screaming "It's gone! It's all gone! I lost everything when the power went out!"
Meanwhile, Jesus quietly started printing out all of his files from the past two hours. Sатаn observed this and became irate.
"Wait! He cheated, how did he do it?"
God shrugged and said, "Jesus saves."
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Technology Jokes
Scientist Воотy Call... Rate:
Haven't I seen you before? Your rate of radioactive decay is exceptional.
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Technology Jokes
Computers: She or He?
Why computers seem female:
- No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
- The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
- The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."
- Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
- As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories.
Why computers seem male:
- They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
- They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, they are the problem.
- As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
- In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
- Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.
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Technology Jokes
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