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Latest Jokes

It is evening. Little Johnny and his friend are sitting by a camp fire. They’ve been plagued by swarms of mosquitoes already for an hour and the аssаulт only worsens when the darkness sets in.
Suddenly, fireflies appear. Little Johnny swears: “These dаrn mosquitoes! Now they’ve even brought lanterns with them to find us!“

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Little Johnny Jokes Good jokes

Why does it suск to be a реnguin?
Because even when you get angry, you still look cute.

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Bad Jokes

“Name me five different animals, Johnny.”
“The dog, the dog’s brother, the dog’s sister, the dog’s cousin and the dog’s aunt.”

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Little Johnny Jokes Good jokes

Why did the bee marry?
He’s finally found his honey.

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Good jokes

A very panicky Emma bursts into her brother’s bedroom and shakes him awake, “Jeremy, come quick, there’s a mouse squeaking under my bed!!!!”
Jeremy yawns, “and what the heck should I do? Oil it?!”

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Good jokes

What do you call a nut that sneezes?
A cashew.

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Good jokes

Why did the donut visit the dentist?
To get a new filling.

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Good jokes Dentist Jokes

Teacher tells little Johnny off, “You know very well you can’t sleep in my class, Johnny.”
Johnny admits, “Yes, I know miss. But maybe, if you didn’t speak quite so loud, I could.”

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes

Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, “Dad, tomorrow there’s a special ‘Adults’ evening’ at school.
Daddy is surprised, “Really? Special?”
“Yes,” nods Johnny, “it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers.”

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Police Officer Jokes Office and Work Jokes School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dad Jokes

“So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?”
“I don’t really want to talk about it mom. You’ll see it later on the news, anyways.”

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes

– Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?
– Because I helped her.
– But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?
– I helped her eat her gummy bears.

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Little Johnny Jokes Kids Jokes Food Jokes

Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?”
Little Johnny: “My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep."

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes

„And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?“ asks mother .
„Come on mom, the most important thing is that I’m healthy!“

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Little Johnny Jokes School Jokes Medical and Doctor Jokes

Apparently taking a day off is not something you should do when you work for a calendar company.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes

Why isn’t it always hotter in the stadiums after a game?
I mean, all the fans have left.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes

For my cats, I’d climb any meow-tain.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes

Why was the chef arrested? He was beating eggs every day.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes

Which country’s capital is the fastest growing?
Answer: Ireland’s.
Every year it’s Dublin.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes

I got very lonely lately, so I bought some shares.
It's much nicer having some company.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes

My cousin, a magician, decided to incorporate the use of trapdoors in his shows.
But I think it’s just a stage he’s going through.

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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Good jokes