A Chinese guy sees his mate flirting with a woman this is what they said:
Mate: I'm entirely innocent! I just happen to be passing this certain young lady, whoever she is! Woman: Why's he wearing a lampshade? (referring to his Chinese hat) Chinese guy: If you want it, it's yours!
Woman: But what would I be doing with a lampshade?
Chinese guy: Get yourself a lamp, and it'll make a change from turning my mate on!