A man goes to his doctor complaining about a pain in his backside. The doc tells him to take his pants off and hop on the bed. The man does this and the doctor takes a look.
“My lord!” says the doc, and with that he pulls a lettuce leaf from the man’s аrsе.
The patient is clearly concerned, “Tell me, doc, how serious is this?”
The doctor looks up with a worried expression on his face and says, “I’m afraid this is just the tip of the iceberg.”