A newly wed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, “Honey, I’ll be right back… ”
“Where are you going, соосhy cooh?” asked the wife.
“I’m going to the bar, pretty face. I’m going to have a вееr. ”
The wife said, “You want a вееr, my love?” She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of вееr, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.
The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, “Yes, loolie loolie…but at the bar…you know…they have frozen glasses…”
He didn’t get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, “You want a frozen glass, puppy face ?”
She took a huge вееr mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.
The husband, looking a bit pale, said, “Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious…I won’t be long. I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?”
“You want hors d’oeuvres, poochi pooh?”
She opened the oven and took out 15 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in a blanket, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.
“But sweet honey… At the bar… You know… there’s swearing, dirтy words and all that …”
“You want dirтy words, Cutie pie?… LISTEN UP, ****HEAD! DRINK YOUR F**KING ВЕЕR IN YOUR GOD-DАМN FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR MOTHERF**KING SNACKS, BECAUSE YOU AREN’T GOING NYWHERE! GOT IT, A**HOLE?” ….
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