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  3. A Pollack grows up admiring...
A Pollack grows up admiring black athletes. By the time he's in college, he's the best football player in his hometown. The problem is, none of the teams will sign a player who isn't black. So he gets a brilliant idea. He goes to the big city and pays his whole life savings to a plastic surgeon.
Surgeon:
"What do you want?"
Pollock:
"I wanna be a niggеr."
The surgeon thinks a minute. "Okay, we'll have to darken your skin by 90%, add six inches to your diск, and take away 40 IQ points."
Well, the Роllоск is all for it. So he goes under the knife and has the procedure. A few hours later, he comes out of the anesthesia and looks up at the plastic surgeon kinda groggy like.
The plastic surgeon says:
"I'm sorry, son. I just don't know how it happened, but we got the numbers all mixed up. We darkened your skin color by 40%, took six inches OFF your diск, and took away 90 IQ points. Can you ever forgive me?"
The patient looks up and says,
"Si, Señor..."
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