As I stepped out of the shower, I heard someone in my kitchen downstairs. Knowing that my wife was out, I grabbed my 1903 heirloom rifle-which no longer works-and crept downstairs, forgetting the...

As I stepped out of the shower, I heard someone in my kitchen downstairs. Knowing that my wife was out, I grabbed my 1903 heirloom rifle-which no longer works-and crept downstairs, forgetting the fact that I was in my birthday suit.
I came around the corner with the gun raised, only to find my wife loading the dishwasher. “What are you doing?” she asked.
“I thought I heard an intruder.  I came down to scare him.”
Scanning the contours of my doughy, nакеd body, she mumbled, “You didn’t need the gun.”

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