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Dirty jokes

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Q. How can you tell that God is a man?
A. Because if he was a woman men would shiт diamonds and sреrм would taste like chocolate.
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Jokes about Women God Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Chocolate Jokes
Little boy gets home from school early and walks into the lounge room and hears his mum and dad making strange noises and he see's his mum and dad doing something on the couch
Little boy: mum, dad what where you doing last night?
Mum and Dad: baking a Cake
Little boy: okay but next time I want chocolate frosting not vanilla
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School Jokes Dirty jokes Dad Jokes Chocolate Jokes
A woman’s p*ussy is like a 9-volt battery.
You know you shouldn’t, but sooner or later you’re going to put your tongue on it.
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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes What's The Difference Jokes
Boy: Mom, why is my cousin named diamonds?
Mom: Because auntie loves diamonds.
Boy: Then how did I get my name?
Mom: Enough questions Dicky.
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Dirty jokes
Sluтs are just girls who can't control there whоrе-mones.
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Dirty jokes
How is smoking a cigarette like eating рussy?
The farther down you get the more it starts to taste like аss.
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Dirty jokes
I hate how life is filled with double standards. If a girl fuскs a bunch of guys she's a whоrе. If I do, I'm gаy. Wтf?
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Dirty jokes
Last night I finally popped the question to my girlfriend of 2yrs.... Why do you have a соск?
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Dirty jokes
Girl, I want to kiss your lips. The one between your hips!
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Dirty jokes
I ordered a реnis enlarger from eBay last week. The ваsтаrd sent me a magnifying glass.
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Dirty jokes
Girl - Но Но Но.
Boy - Is Santa coming?
Girl - No, your girlfriend is.
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Dirty jokes
Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yup, that's how you wash a cup.
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Dirty jokes
Соndом Slogans:
1) Cover your stump before you huмр.
2) Especially in December, wrap your member.
3) Don't be a loner, cover your воnеr.
4) If you go into heat, package your meat.
5) Never never deck her with an unwrapped рескеr.
6) She wont get sick if you wrap your diск.
7) If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey.
8) Before you attack her, protect your whacker.
9) If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it.
10) No Glove, No Love!
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Dirty jokes
I was having sеx with my girlfriend, Diana, when my roommate, Jones, entered the room
- I'm indiana Jones, Get out.
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Dirty jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes
Little Lexi was going to get a drink of water during the night, and she overheard her father say "You little b*tch. You like that, huh?" And her mother replied with, "Oh yeah, I love your diск. Go deeper!!" The next day she asked her mother what diск meant. The mom told her a diск was a coat. She then asked her dad what b*tch meant. Her father said that a b*tch was a person. Later on, Lexi found her parents arguing. "YOU МОТНЕRFUСКЕR!!" Her mom shouted. "You're just a SLUТ!" Her dad replied. Again, little Lexi was curious, and asked her mother what a motherf*cker was. Her mother said it was a turkey. Later, she asked her dad what a sluт meant. He said it meant toilet. After that, her dad was on the toilet yelling "Honey, I'm having a big shiт on the toilet so let's not have sеx until later?" She asked what shiт was and he said eating. He also said having sеx meant socializing. After all that, her family came over for Thanksgiving. Little Lexi said "Happy Thanksgiving, b*tches! We're going to shiт soon, my dad is upstairs eating the sluт in the bathroom! My moms going to cut the motherf*cker shortly! Hang up your diскs and stay a while! I can't wait to have sеx with you!
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Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Dad Jokes
A boy's parents are fighting and the mom calls the dad a Ваsтаrd and the dad calls the mom a Вiтсh. The kid asks them what it means and they say Ladies and Gentlemen.
That night the son walks in on his parents having angry sеx.
The dad say "feel my diск" and the mom says "suск my тiттiеs"
The son asks "what does that mean" and the parents say Hats and Coats.
The next day the dad is shaving and cuts himself so he screams "shiт!" and the kid asks what it meas and the dad says its a brand of shaving cream.
The kid then goes downstairs and the mom is stuffing the turkey and accidentally cuts herself and screams"f*ck!"
When the guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner the kid answers the door and says.
"Alright you Вiтсhеs and Ваsтаrds, hang your Diскs and Тiттiеs in the closet, Dad's upstairs wiping the Shiт off his face and Mom's in the kitchen Fuскing the turkey!"
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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Dad Jokes
Man:knock knock
Kid:whos there Man:i see you do
Kid:i seee you do who?
Man:my girlfriend!
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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Knock-knock jokes
What do you call a Russian рrоsтiтuте who charges too much?
Vagisdear Disputin
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Dirty jokes
What did a hоокеr say to the Russian President?
Vladimir Putin
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Putin Jokes Dirty jokes Prostitute Jokes Russian Jokes
The BYOB sтriр club fills a very important niche in the sтriр club market. Because, I mean, we've all been at a traditional sтriр club, and the wine list is pedestrian. You know, half the whites from California, they're all sсrеw tops and the sommelier couldn't tell a Sancerre from a sandwich. And I'm just sitting there the whole time thinking, 'I have in my cellar at home a 2002 Argentinean Malbec that would go perfectly with that 42-year-old's hysterectomy scars.'
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Dirty jokes Wine jokes
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