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Dirty jokes

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Im not that good in algebra but I know that I+U=69
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Math Jokes Dirty jokes
Me: *watching a kdrama*
Bro: *takes 10 bananas to eat*
Me: Why do you gotta take all that..?
Bro: To make my diск longer! *smirks*
Me: Wтf-
- In school, at health class-
Teacher: Can someone raise their hand and tell me a fun fact about boys?
Me: *raises hand*
Teacher: Yes, go on.
Me: Boys eat bananas to make their diск longer...
Class: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Teacher: Lia, please sit back down, I'll need to see you after class!!
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Dirty jokes
Sluт: I like happiness inside me.
You: Where the fuск did the "hap" come from?
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Dirty jokes
A group of members at a Fraternity house decided to set up a glory hole and make the member with the largest реnis use it, after each one reveals what they got packed inside, the one with the largest proudly steps forth and receives some pleasure from it, after it’s done, he proudly comes back to his dorm and gets a phone call from his sister. “What’s the matter?” he asks, she tells him that her sorority decided to play a game in which the loser gets аnаl from the fraternities’ glory hole, and that she lost………….
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Dirty jokes
A man in a butcher shop:
"I would like bull testicles please."
Butcher:
"Me too."
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Dirty jokes
Q. How can you tell that God is a man?
A. Because if he was a woman men would shiт diamonds and sреrм would taste like chocolate.
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Jokes about Women God Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Chocolate Jokes
Little boy gets home from school early and walks into the lounge room and hears his mum and dad making strange noises and he see's his mum and dad doing something on the couch
Little boy: mum, dad what where you doing last night?
Mum and Dad: baking a Cake
Little boy: okay but next time I want chocolate frosting not vanilla
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School Jokes Dirty jokes Dad Jokes Chocolate Jokes
A woman’s p*ussy is like a 9-volt battery.
You know you shouldn’t, but sooner or later you’re going to put your tongue on it.
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Jokes about Women Dirty jokes What's The Difference Jokes
I was having sеx with my girlfriend, Diana, when my roommate, Jones, entered the room
- I'm indiana Jones, Get out.
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Dirty jokes Cowboys and Indians Jokes
Little Lexi was going to get a drink of water during the night, and she overheard her father say "You little b*tch. You like that, huh?" And her mother replied with, "Oh yeah, I love your diск. Go deeper!!" The next day she asked her mother what diск meant. The mom told her a diск was a coat. She then asked her dad what b*tch meant. Her father said that a b*tch was a person. Later on, Lexi found her parents arguing. "YOU МОТНЕRFUСКЕR!!" Her mom shouted. "You're just a SLUТ!" Her dad replied. Again, little Lexi was curious, and asked her mother what a motherf*cker was. Her mother said it was a turkey. Later, she asked her dad what a sluт meant. He said it meant toilet. After that, her dad was on the toilet yelling "Honey, I'm having a big shiт on the toilet so let's not have sеx until later?" She asked what shiт was and he said eating. He also said having sеx meant socializing. After all that, her family came over for Thanksgiving. Little Lexi said "Happy Thanksgiving, b*tches! We're going to shiт soon, my dad is upstairs eating the sluт in the bathroom! My moms going to cut the motherf*cker shortly! Hang up your diскs and stay a while! I can't wait to have sеx with you!
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Marriage and Family Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Dad Jokes
A boy's parents are fighting and the mom calls the dad a Ваsтаrd and the dad calls the mom a Вiтсh. The kid asks them what it means and they say Ladies and Gentlemen.
That night the son walks in on his parents having angry sеx.
The dad say "feel my diск" and the mom says "suск my тiттiеs"
The son asks "what does that mean" and the parents say Hats and Coats.
The next day the dad is shaving and cuts himself so he screams "shiт!" and the kid asks what it meas and the dad says its a brand of shaving cream.
The kid then goes downstairs and the mom is stuffing the turkey and accidentally cuts herself and screams"f*ck!"
When the guests arrive for Thanksgiving dinner the kid answers the door and says.
"Alright you Вiтсhеs and Ваsтаrds, hang your Diскs and Тiттiеs in the closet, Dad's upstairs wiping the Shiт off his face and Mom's in the kitchen Fuскing the turkey!"
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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Sex Jokes Thanksgiving Jokes Dad Jokes
Man:knock knock
Kid:whos there Man:i see you do
Kid:i seee you do who?
Man:my girlfriend!
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Kids Jokes Dirty jokes Men jokes Knock-knock jokes
What do you call a Russian рrоsтiтuте who charges too much?
Vagisdear Disputin
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Dirty jokes
What did a hоокеr say to the Russian President?
Vladimir Putin
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Putin Jokes Dirty jokes Prostitute Jokes Russian Jokes
The BYOB sтriр club fills a very important niche in the sтriр club market. Because, I mean, we've all been at a traditional sтriр club, and the wine list is pedestrian. You know, half the whites from California, they're all sсrеw tops and the sommelier couldn't tell a Sancerre from a sandwich. And I'm just sitting there the whole time thinking, 'I have in my cellar at home a 2002 Argentinean Malbec that would go perfectly with that 42-year-old's hysterectomy scars.'
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Dirty jokes Wine jokes
Is that a mirror in your pocket? Because i see myself in your pants.
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Pick-Up Lines Jokes Dirty jokes
Little Johnny got home from school and told his mum " I just had my first sеxuаl experience!"
His mum replied "I'm going to speak to your dad about this when he gets home. Go to your room." So little Johnny goes to his room.
When his dad gets home his mum tells him about little Johnny's first sеxuаl experience.
His dad says "I won't get too angry at him because at his age, I was looking for my first sеxuаl experience to."
When he gets to little Johnny's room he asks him "So how was it?"
Little Johnny replies it was Great! The only downside is my аss hurts."
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School Jokes Little Johnny Jokes Dirty jokes Dad Jokes
As a gаy man, I can assure you that an "iPhone 6 plus" is only 5.
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Dirty jokes Men jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes
So i was paired up with the really smart and hot girl in our Physics class to write an essay on Issac Newton's theory of gravity. So she said why don't we call it what Newton called it, "What goes up, must come down." Of course i agreed so that night we went to her house and started on our research, we had a nice glass of wine for good luck and we started. She asked if i could take the lead and start so i agreed and said why don't we try what Newton meant with what goes up must come down. She was good with that, so i asked her this morning when you were getting dressed for school you put on your skirt and wore your blouse and shoes and left the house right? She said yes, i said that's perfect because that would mean your skirt went up so lets see it come down. Blammmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
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School Jokes Dirty jokes Wine jokes
A girl is blowing her Boyfriend.
Boyfriend: Dамn, this is great.
Girlfriend: I would hope so, it took a long time to master this.
Boyfriend: You were blowing dudes behind my back?!
Girlfriend: Well, technically it was under the table. Anyway, how else did you think i could afford my Iphone?
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Dirty jokes Apple and iPhone Jokes
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