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Fat Jokes

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A man was walking along the street when he saw a ladder going into the clouds. As any of us would do, he climbed the ladder.
He reached a cloud, upon which was sat a rather plump and homely looking woman. “Sсrеw me or climb the ladder to success” she said. No contest, thought the man, so he climbed the ladder to the next cloud. On this cloud was a slightly thinner woman, who was slightly easier on the eye.
“Sсrеw me or climb the ladder to success” she said. “Well”, thought the man, “might as well carry on. On the next cloud was an even more attractive lady who, this time, was really hot.
“Sсrеw me now or climb the ladder to success” she uttered. As he turned her down and went on up the ladder, the man thought to himself that this was getting better the further he went. On the next cloud was an absolute beauty. Slim, attractive, everything he could want. “Sсrеw me or climb the ladder to success” she flirted.
Unable to imagine what could be waiting, and being a gambling man, he decided to climb again. When he reached the next cloud, there was a 400 pound ugly man, arm pit hair showing, flies buzzing around his crotch.
“Who are you?” the man asked.
“Hello” said the ugly fат man said, “my name’s Cess!”
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Jokes about Women Men jokes Sex Jokes Fat Jokes
You mama so fат that king Kong cant match her
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Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes
Yo momma is so dамn fат that when I think about her my neck brakes
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Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes
Q. What makes a fат Mexican run as fast as a Olympic runner ?
A. When someone yells "BORDER PATROL, BORDER PATROL".
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Ethnic and Racial Jokes Fat Jokes
When you’re a fат kid you only get to be two things.
Funny, and a goalkeeper.
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Kids Jokes Fat Jokes
Now that I'm married, I'm being asked questions I have never been asked before in my entire life. The other day, my wife came up to me and said, 'Do you think I'm fат?' I said, 'Excuse me sweetheart, but do you see "sтuрid jаскаss" written on my face? Do you see "let's have a fight for no apparent reason" written on my face somewhere?'
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Marriage and Family Jokes Fat Jokes
Yo Momma so fат the doctor told her to step on the scale and he said holy сrар thats my phone number.
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Medical and Doctor Jokes Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes
You're so fат that your husband rolled over after sеx, rolled over again and was STILL on top of you.
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Sex Jokes Fat Jokes
Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his вееr. Tom walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts he asks Eric what the problem is.
“Well,” said Eric, “I ran afoul of one of those women’s questions women ask. Now I’m in deep doo-doo at home.”
“What kind of question?, asked Tom.
“My wife asked me if I would still love her if when she was old, fат and ugly.”
“That’s easy,” said Tom. “You just say ‘Of course I will'”.
“Yeah”, said Eric, “That’s what I did, except I said ‘Of course I DO….'”
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Jokes about Women Marriage and Family Jokes Fat Jokes
Running from your problems never helps… unless the problem is that you’re too fат.
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Fat Jokes
Never make fun of fат girls with lisps…
They’re thick and tired of it.
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Fat Jokes
This fат bird came up to me in the pub last night and said:
“Hey, stud, what’s the chances of me getting you in the sack tonight.”
“Absolutely none at all, you fат тwат” I laughed.
“You’re so wrong!” she said, as she took aim and kicked me in the воllоскs.
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Masturbation jokes Fat Jokes
Slow dancing with a fат person?
That’s like trying to move a refrigerator by yourself.
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Fat Jokes
I’ll never forget the day I met my wife.
We were at a fancy dress party. She was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fат mate.
They’d gone together, dressed as the number ten.
I knew there and then, she was the one.
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Double Meaning and Wordplay Jokes Fat Jokes
Yo momma so fат when she wears a green sweater people yell GODZILLLLLLAAAAA
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Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes
Yo momma is so fат she put on a yellow raincoat and everyone started to shout taxi
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Yo Momma Jokes Fat Jokes
Had a nightmare last night about a fат old men breaking into my house. Think I might be Claustraphobic.
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Men jokes Fat Jokes
200 lbs on Earth is only 74 lbs on Mars. I'm not fат, I'm just on the wrong planet.
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One-Liner Jokes Fat Jokes
I've got a wedding I've got to go to next week, and I was trying to lose six pounds by the weekend. I don't think I'm going to do it, so I'm going to get my back waxed, and then, I'll only have to lose two.
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Fat Jokes
After one too many remarks about her weight, my wife went berserk.
She screamed, “If you keep up with these fат jokes, you’ll drive me to suicide!”
“Well I’d have to, you wouldn’t walk would you?” I replied.
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Fat Jokes
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