Golf jokes

Newest jokes in this category

What do you Get when you Swallow a Golf ball?
A Colon 1.

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Golf jokes

Why do middle age men like golf
They're good at finishing in few strokes

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Golf jokes

Why do old people love golf?
It’s all about getting the least strokes

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Old People Jokes Golf jokes

What STD Does Tiger Woods have?
Golf clap

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Golf jokes

If you're a tall person and someone asks you if you play basketball
Ask them if they play mini golf

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Golf jokes

Leggs pantyhose and the Richard Pryor estate are hosting a golf tournament.
It's called the Pryor Leggs Open.

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Golf jokes

You got gonnorhea from Tiger Woods?
*Golf clap.*

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Golf jokes

I was playing golf paired with a chimney sweep the other day. I said to him "Whats your handicap?"
He replied "Central Heating"

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Golf jokes

My ex GF was like a good game of golf.
All holes subpar.

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Golf jokes

I was playing golf with my girlfriend when she got stung by a wasp between the 1st and 2nd hole.
I told her that her stance was too wide.
(Credit to u/tooshiftyforyou)

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Golf jokes

I tried to get into golf recently but I soon quit because everyone was so mean to me.
They kept asking me what my handicap was.

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Golf jokes

Two guys in home depot start talking
One said "I wish there was a sтuрid store that bro dad's go to to make сrаррy one hole mini golf courses we could watch them stumble around not knowing anything"
The other said "dude that's lowe"

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Golf jokes

What did Tiger Woods give his mistress?
Golf clap

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Golf jokes

So I was practicing driving at a golf course the other day…
And some security guard had the nerve to tell me that cars aren’t allowed on the green!

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Golf jokes

Played my first round of golf today. Apparently played a lot like OJ Simpson
I’m a natural slicer

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Golf jokes

Tiger woods was being interviewed about his dalliances
Reporter: How many women did you sleep with?
Tiger: nine.
Reporter: Wow that half a round of golf?
Tiger: Full round actually, your forgetting about the back nine.

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Golf jokes

How to golf clubs reproduce?
They’re swingers!

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Golf jokes

A man in a wheechair is playing golf...
His caddy walks up and says "Hello sir! What is your handicap?"

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Golf jokes

Tiger Woods hit 18 holes day
And still had time to play golf

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Golf jokes

I woke up in the hospital emergency ward. The intern came over and asked me if I knew what happen to bring me to the hospital. I explained, "Well, I was playing golf with my wife. I had been having a great game but unfortunately she was not.
On the 15th tee I hit a beautiful shot, 270 yards straight down the fairway. My wife steps up and hits a tremendous slice that leaves the course and lands in the pasture out of bounds.
We both went looking for the ball. Just as we were about to give up I spotted a glint of white coming from a соw's behind, just under its tail. I lifted the tail to make sure. Then I called to my wife saying, “Here, honey, this looks like yours.”
“That was the last thing I remember.”

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Golf jokes