Golf jokes

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The best golf stroke ever

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Donald Trump Jokes Golf jokes

Why do Catholic priests like golf?
Because most of the holes are under 18.

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Golf jokes

Why do married men love golf so much?
Because it's not the same three holes over and over again.

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Golf jokes

There is only one sport in which I can get a high score.
It's golf.

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Golf jokes

Why couldn't the computer play golf?...
... Because it had the wrong Driver

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Golf jokes

A couple walk Into the clubhouse after a round of golf.
The pro asks "how was you round?" The husband says "it was good but my wife got stung by a bee".
"Where did she get stung?"
"Between the first and second hole". The pro says "well her stance was too wide."

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Golf jokes

A lady runs up to a golf pro giving a lesson ...
... and says "Help! I've just been stung by a bee!". The golf pro asks where. The lady says "Between the first and second holes." The pro says,
"Well, I can tell you right now your stance is way too wide."

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Golf jokes

I got in to a gun fight with a mexican at a golf club.
I shot a hole in Juan.

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Mexican jokes Golf jokes

What do you Get when you Swallow a Golf ball?
A Colon 1.

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Golf jokes

Why do middle age men like golf
They're good at finishing in few strokes

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Golf jokes

Why do old people love golf?
It’s all about getting the least strokes

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Old People Jokes Golf jokes

What STD Does Tiger Woods have?
Golf clap

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Golf jokes

If you're a tall person and someone asks you if you play basketball
Ask them if they play mini golf

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Golf jokes

Leggs pantyhose and the Richard Pryor estate are hosting a golf tournament.
It's called the Pryor Leggs Open.

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Golf jokes

You got gonnorhea from Tiger Woods?
*Golf clap.*

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Golf jokes

I was playing golf paired with a chimney sweep the other day. I said to him "Whats your handicap?"
He replied "Central Heating"

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Golf jokes

My ex GF was like a good game of golf.
All holes subpar.

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Golf jokes

I was playing golf with my girlfriend when she got stung by a wasp between the 1st and 2nd hole.
I told her that her stance was too wide.
(Credit to u/tooshiftyforyou)

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Golf jokes

I tried to get into golf recently but I soon quit because everyone was so mean to me.
They kept asking me what my handicap was.

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Golf jokes

Two guys in home depot start talking
One said "I wish there was a sтuрid store that bro dad's go to to make сrаррy one hole mini golf courses we could watch them stumble around not knowing anything"
The other said "dude that's lowe"

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Golf jokes

What did Tiger Woods give his mistress?
Golf clap

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Golf jokes

So I was practicing driving at a golf course the other day…
And some security guard had the nerve to tell me that cars aren’t allowed on the green!

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Golf jokes

Played my first round of golf today. Apparently played a lot like OJ Simpson
I’m a natural slicer

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Golf jokes

Tiger woods was being interviewed about his dalliances
Reporter: How many women did you sleep with?
Tiger: nine.
Reporter: Wow that half a round of golf?
Tiger: Full round actually, your forgetting about the back nine.

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Golf jokes

How to golf clubs reproduce?
They’re swingers!

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Golf jokes

A man in a wheechair is playing golf...
His caddy walks up and says "Hello sir! What is your handicap?"

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Golf jokes

Tiger Woods hit 18 holes day
And still had time to play golf

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Golf jokes

No golfing in the cemetery

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Golf jokes